Adam: Then Dad ruined the game 'cause he wasn't paying attention. No one could tell, but he felt bad!
Beverly: Your father doesn't feel regret.
Essie Karp: Or shame or modesty or common social decency.
Adam: Not typically, but tonight, he wanted to fix things and didn't know how. He did know Bill had a mild allergy, so he killed the lights... [all gasp and exclaim] ...and smashed a light bulb for dramatic effect! [glass shatters] Under cover of darkness, he grabbed a crab cake and jammed it into a mushroom cap. Bill took a bite and went down. [groans]
Virginia Kremp: I suppose that makes some sense, but what about my coat?
Adam: Simple. While we were all busy bickering... "Your tile's hideous." "There's no crab heaven." "I enjoy her shape"... That gave Dad time to find the closest thing he could to a weapon... Mom's bedazzling gun.
Beverly: [gasps] Murray. Is that true?
Murray: What gave me away? [thunder crashes]
Adam: The mid-party bath. You were so overheated by frolicking amok, committing heinous acts, you had to cool your body down.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, I loved a good mystery, whether it was UFOs or who shot J.R., the Bermuda Triangle, or what was in New Coke. So it was no mystery that I loved the movie Clue. I was so obsessed, I even took my own mom to go see it.
Beverly: I loved it.
Adam: Was it the mystery? The crime most foul? The snooty butler?
Beverly: It was the swanky party.
Adam: Wha?
Beverly: All those people dressed to the nines and eating fancy foods and discussing nonsense. That is my dream.
Adam: But I think the nonsense they were discussing was a murder of a colleague.
Beverly: How fun would that be, solving the brutal stabbing of a good friend?
Adam: I guess you could throw your own murder-mystery party.
Beverly: Yes! And it'll be the social event of the year and every year after that until I die and my friends gather to solve that crime.

Adam: I'll script the whole thing! It'll be a night full of danger, dialogue, and distrust!
Murray: Can you guys keep it down? I'm watching Dukes of Hazzard.
Adam: Dad, we're planning a murder-mystery party. It's gonna be fun.
Murray: Fun? N-No thank you.
Beverly: Look at me. We're doing this.
Murray: Look at me. Over my dead body.
Adam: Yes! He can be the dead body.
Murray: Sounds like too much work.
Adam: This is the perfect amount of work for you. You just have to exist.
Murray: 'Cause movement of any kind is a deal breaker.
Adam: I'll murder you quick. I promise.
Murray: Fine.
Beverly: Yay! Murray's kinda in. A Goldbergs murder-mystery party. How have we not done this? Yay!