Adam: Then Dad ruined the game 'cause he wasn't paying attention. No one could tell, but he felt bad!
Beverly: Your father doesn't feel regret.
Essie Karp: Or shame or modesty or common social decency.
Adam: Not typically, but tonight, he wanted to fix things and didn't know how. He did know Bill had a mild allergy, so he killed the lights... [all gasp and exclaim] ...and smashed a light bulb for dramatic effect! [glass shatters] Under cover of darkness, he grabbed a crab cake and jammed it into a mushroom cap. Bill took a bite and went down. [groans]
Virginia Kremp: I suppose that makes some sense, but what about my coat?
Adam: Simple. While we were all busy bickering... "Your tile's hideous." "There's no crab heaven." "I enjoy her shape"... That gave Dad time to find the closest thing he could to a weapon... Mom's bedazzling gun.
Beverly: [gasps] Murray. Is that true?
Murray: What gave me away? [thunder crashes]
Adam: The mid-party bath. You were so overheated by frolicking amok, committing heinous acts, you had to cool your body down.