Pops: Aw, honey, what's wrong?
Beverly: Nothing. I'm just tearing up 'cause Julia's chopping an onion.
Pops: You do know that that onion is on TV, right?
Beverly: [voice breaking] Okay, fine! [sniffles] It's my cookbook. I sent it out to some publishers, and they said I was poop and that my cooking was poop and that my one and only dream is poop!
Pops: No one has just one dream, Bevy. I'm sure you got plenty of others.
Beverly: Well, like Barry becomes a doctor, Erica wins a Grammy, Adam gets a rare disease that prevents his snuggly little body from developing into a full adult man.
Pops: Bev, none of those dreams are about you, and one in particular is very troubling.
Beverly: Damn it, I know! Erica's never gonna win a Grammy!

Geoff: Bar, those letters were written about me. And they need to be sent in sealed so the admissions people know they're legit.
Barry: So, you're saying I'm going to actually have to ask a teacher to write nice stuff about me?
Erica: Ha! You're not going to college.
Murray: College-what? Who said college?
Matt: Whoa, where'd he come from?
Andy: For a big man, he moves like a phantom.
Murray: Because college is the only thing that matters to me. That and the thermostat.

Pops: Okay, I'm sure it's not as bad as ya think. Lemme see that letter.
Beverly: Take your pick.
Pops: "Dear Ms. Goldberg, your blending of fish and veal is both upsetting and against God's plan."
Beverly: [sobbing]