Barry Quote #858
Barry: Okay, don't freak out and call me a moron, but I've apparently thus far failed to "obtain" a "recommendation letter" from a "teacher" at "school."
Murray: Stop with the quotes. My God, I raised a moron.
Barry: You have. "This is your fault."
Quote from Beverly
Pops: Aw, honey, what's wrong?
Beverly: Nothing. I'm just tearing up 'cause Julia's chopping an onion.
Pops: You do know that that onion is on TV, right?
Beverly: [voice breaking] Okay, fine! [sniffles] It's my cookbook. I sent it out to some publishers, and they said I was poop and that my cooking was poop and that my one and only dream is poop!
Pops: No one has just one dream, Bevy. I'm sure you got plenty of others.
Beverly: Well, like Barry becomes a doctor, Erica wins a Grammy, Adam gets a rare disease that prevents his snuggly little body from developing into a full adult man.
Pops: Bev, none of those dreams are about you, and one in particular is very troubling.
Beverly: Damn it, I know! Erica's never gonna win a Grammy!
Quote from Murray
Geoff: Bar, those letters were written about me. And they need to be sent in sealed so the admissions people know they're legit.
Barry: So, you're saying I'm going to actually have to ask a teacher to write nice stuff about me?
Erica: Ha! You're not going to college.
Murray: College-what? Who said college?
Matt: Whoa, where'd he come from?
Andy: For a big man, he moves like a phantom.
Murray: Because college is the only thing that matters to me. That and the thermostat.
Quote from The Opportunity of a Lifetime
Beverly: I just I wanted to tell Barry, uh, [quietly] don't pitch.
Barry: Did you just call me a "dumb bitch"?
Beverly: No, I said "don't pitch."
Barry: What? That's even worse!
Quote from Cowboy Country
Barry: If I hear you say no again, I'm hulking out. We're talking screaming and swearing. I'm gonna smash this decorative box.
Murray: Do not hulk out. Do not smash that decorative box.
Barry: Say goodbye to the decorative box.
Murray: Your mom keeps her knick-knacks in there.
Barry: I'll destroy her knick-knacks too! Hulk doesn't respect knick-knacks..
Quote from Why're You Hitting Yourself?
Barry: My perfect girl? Well, she should have big blue eyes, and big blonde hair.
Beverly: Mmm, she sounds fun.
Barry: She shouldn't be afraid to speak her mind, you know? I mean, she should have a sensitive side, but still be a hard-ass.
Beverly: Oh, sit up straight, honey.
Barry: And I want her to take care of me. Cook, pick up my stuff, make me hot pockets.
Barry: By the way, thank you for the hot pocket.
Beverly: All right, and I'm on the case for my sweet, handsome, delicious boy.
Erica: You know you just described mom.
Barry: What!? I did n- Oh, my God! Mom! I meant a brunette who doesn't cook at all. And she's gotta be super shy and not related to me at all.