Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, the Oscars crowned the best dramatic films of the time. Nothing could beat a heart-wrenching story, masterful direction, or a powerful performance. My family, however, didn't think so.
Barry: Places in the Heart. Who cares about a lady saving a farm? Sally Field needs to stick to being the Bandit's main squeeze.
Geoff: The Bandit was clearly a criminal. Smokey's the star, in my book.
Erica: And that's why he's the fun husband.

Beverly: What I want to know is, where are all the great mother-son movies? And mother-daughter movies.
Erica: No need to include me in whatever cuckoo bananas you're about to share.
Beverly: A mom and her Schmoo rescue an ark from the nazis. She and her squish go top-gunning. A mama and her three poopies hunt down a killer shark. These movies write themselves.
Adam: Because no one else is going to.

Geoff: Oh! They're announcing Best Picture! And the winner is... Amadeus! [Adam and Barry booing]
Beverly: Oh, that's a shame.
Barry: Amadeus? it's not even a real word.
Geoff: Amadeus is Wolfgang Mozart's middle name. The movie's about his musical genius and his rival Salieri's murderous jealousy.
Beverly: Before he composed anything, his mother composed him in her lady tuba.
Erica: Lady tuba?!
Beverly: Well, then there needs to be a prequel that focuses only on her... Mom-adeus.
Barry: I will never see that.