Coach Mellor Quote #66
Quote from Coach Mellor in Goldberg on The Goldbergs
Adam: Uh, Coach, quick sidebar?
Coach Mellor: First of all, son, you got to take off the comedy glasses. We're not in clown school.
Adam: Sadly, these are not for hilarity, just to fix a lazy eye. On that note, I was thinking maybe Barry and I can be on the same team?
Coach Mellor: Or you can finally cast off your self-doubt and those orthopedic glasses and make your big bro suck it on the court of life.
Adam: Solid plan. However, my mom really wants us on the same team to avoid further damage to my growing body.
Coach Mellor: Son, the only reason Barry pummels you is because you let him. You got to to stop running and unleash the beast inside. And don't just do it for you. Do it for all the picked-on, little-dorkus brothers who cry "No more!" Now, are you gonna stand up and be a man or are you gonna cower behind your mommy?
[cut to:]
Beverly: You're pitting my babies against each other on purpose?! Unacceptable!
Adam: [whispering] I'm so sorry.
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘Goldberg on The Goldbergs’ Quotes
Quote from Coach Mellor
Beverly: Can't you just get past it? He's your family.
Coach Mellor: You sound like Mama, God rest her soul.
Beverly: You mean..?
Coach Mellor: She died doing what she loved, though. Frog squats.
Beverly: Coach, does your brother have any idea what he's done to you?
Coach Mellor: That's what Mama asked me, right before she did that last ill-advised rep that sent her to the final cool-down in the sky. Oh, Mama, why'd you have to crush it so hard?
Quote from Coach Mellor
Coach Mellor: All right, that's it! You're outta here! [whistle blows]
Coach Nick: Did you just blow your whistle at me?
Coach Mellor: Yeah, I did! And according to the laws of coaching, that means you got to take a lap!
Coach Nick: No. You take the lap! [whistle blows]
Coach Mellor: How dare you blow your whistle at me in my gymnatorium?! You have no right!
Coach Nick: But I do. This is the Blare-X 2000, the Champagne of whistles, given only to college coaches. So, my whistle wins.
Coach Mellor: Anybody can get a whistle. What really matters is what's in here, and you and I both know I always give 110%.
Coach Nick: And everyone knows I give 111.
Coach Mellor: That's not possible! Everybody knows that 110% is the maximum!
Quote from Beverly
Adam: But this wasn't my fault. I was targeted in gym class.
Beverly: Targeted?! Who targeted my smooshy-tushed baby boy?
Barry: 'Twas I.
Beverly: Barry, what have I told you about picking on poor Adam?
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Then came the Mom guilt trip unique to brothers everywhere.
Beverly: You realize that one day, I'll be gone, and the only thing you'll have is each other.