Mr. Glascott Quote #114
Quote from Mr. Glascott in One Exquisite Evening with Madonna
Beverly: Oh, this is terrible. If what the vent suggests is true, Erica's marriage is in shambles.
Mr. Glascott: [gasps] Mother father! She's destined to become a spite-filled spinster.
Beverly: We have to do something.
Mr. Glascott: We? This goes beyond neighborly duties.
Beverly: You're the key to this whole thing. If I go up there, they're gonna kick me out, but you're a counselor.
Mr. Glascott: A guidance counselor, not a marriage counselor.
Beverly: You can do anything. You got Alan Friedbaum into SUNY Purchase.
Mr. Glascott: I did do that somehow. And he's not your standardized-test taker. And his tardiness? Whoo!
Beverly: Exactly. Now please help me get my baby into the University of Love.
Mr. Glascott: The U of L? That's a reach for all of us. But I guess it is just talking and listening.
Beverly: Yes, two things you're doing too much of right now. Go.
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘One Exquisite Evening with Madonna’ Quotes
Quote from Barry
Barry: Stop shopping immediately. I have a menagerie of items that would delight any woman.
Adam: I told you, I don't need your help.
Barry: Opposite! My intimate knowledge of ladies' needs and desires is well-established.
Adam: Is it, though?
Barry: Item one... a deadly titanium crossbow. You and your gal pal can spend a reckless evening at the junkyard shooting out windshields.
Adam: None of this sounds like you waiting in the car.
Barry: Item two... tighty whities, the gentleman's lingerie. You give her a few boudoir photos in these, she'll remember you forever.
Adam: How could she not?
Barry: I've saved the best for last. A bulk warehouse box of Bonkers Fruit Chew candies. When she smooches you to thank you, think of me.
Adam: I'm not giving her pieces of purple candy!
Barry: Whatever! Have fun dying alone with no cavities.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: [casps] My sweet baby girl is home!
Erica: Relax, we're only here for one week.
Geoff: We have black mold.
Erica: It's really not a big deal.
Beverly: Please, my chiropractor's receptionist's nephew slept in a bedroom with black mold. Soon he was carrying his lungs around in a backpack, which he lost on an airplane, then he had to be hooked up to one of those air pumps you use to inflate pool toys. Now he lives alone in a park ranger tower, where the air is clean and the woods are lonely.
Erica: That seems scientifically accurate, but point is we're only here for one week.
Beverly: A week with my baby and baby-in-law. I'm gonna hug whoever put that black mold in your apartment.
Geoff: You already are.
Quote from Barry
Barry: Hey! I was watching that! He's an American werewolf, but in London. Think of the culture shock.