Beverly Quote #1462

Quote from Beverly in A Light Thanksgiving Nosh

Mr. Glascott: I'd never think that Murray would have the energy, let alone the desire. And what woman would debase hers...
Beverly: It's Linda [bleep] Schwartz!
Mr. Glascott: I always got a skank vibe off of her.
Beverly: Murray didn't cheat on me with Linda. Erica did.
Mr. Glascott: Torrents of confusion. Please explain.
Beverly: The very fruit of my lush giving tree is out gallivanting with another mother.
Mr. Glascott: Wait, your daughter is hanging out with her soon-to-be mother-in-law, and that's bad because...
Beverly: Because it is a disgusting display of child infidelity.
Mr. Glascott: I don't think child infidelity is a real thing.
Beverly: It's real.

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 ‘A Light Thanksgiving Nosh’ Quotes

Quote from Beverly

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, my mom was famous for always getting her way. She bulldozed everyone, teachers, store employees, even her own friends. But my mom's arm-twisting was about to get tested when those friends became family.
Linda Schwartz: Erica! I need to get a head count for Thanksgiving dinner. Is your mother around?
Beverly: [grunts] 26 1/2 pounds is a lot heavier than you think. Oof.
Geoff: Where do you buy a bird that big?
Beverly: Oh, I've had this gobbler since he was a chick. I'd hand-feed him peanut butter, corn, and pasta carbonara every day until my relentless forced-gorging did what it do. [chuckles] [squawks] "My name was Popcorn."
Erica: That's so dark.
Beverly: The dark meat is the juiciest.

Quote from Geoff

Geoff: What's up, Mom?
Beverly: Ooh, yeah, that still doesn't feel right.
Mr. Glascott: It's wildly uncomfortable for everyone involved.
Geoff: There's got to be something that speaks to our closeness. [montage] Mee-maw? Mamacita? Mommers? Mommaroony? Mumsy? Mama-lou? Queen Mother? Mamasaurus Rex? Mother Superior? Bahama Mama? The Bev Train? Choo-choo. Big Mama? She's a fine Mama-Jama? Ooh, how about just "Beverly"?
Beverly: Sorry. None of these are working.
Geoff: But, Mrs. Goldberg...
Beverly: Bup-bup! That's the one.

Quote from Beverly

Linda Schwartz: Sorry to interrupt your pet's murder, but I thought I was hosting Thanksgiving this year.
Beverly: Well, that doesn't sound right, so it isn't. And I'm already three hours into a 15-hour seasoning process.
Linda Schwartz: So? I made little menus with a calligraphy pen.
Geoff: She calls yams "yums." That was actually my contribution.
Erica: That's not the brag you think it is. And, Mom, Linda clearly thought she was doing Thanksgiving this year.
Beverly: She can still be a part of the festivities. I need help with the bird. You will be scooping out Popcorn's giblets.
Geoff: Giblets are not as cute as the name implies.
Erica: Just a butt full of guts.
Beverly: I suggest putting down a beach towel, 'cause this juicy Johnny's gonna leak something fierce.