Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, my mom was famous for always getting her way. She bulldozed everyone, teachers, store employees, even her own friends. But my mom's arm-twisting was about to get tested when those friends became family.
Linda Schwartz: Erica! I need to get a head count for Thanksgiving dinner. Is your mother around?
Beverly: [grunts] 26 1/2 pounds is a lot heavier than you think. Oof.
Geoff: Where do you buy a bird that big?
Beverly: Oh, I've had this gobbler since he was a chick. I'd hand-feed him peanut butter, corn, and pasta carbonara every day until my relentless forced-gorging did what it do. [chuckles] [squawks] "My name was Popcorn."
Erica: That's so dark.
Beverly: The dark meat is the juiciest.

Linda Schwartz: Sorry to interrupt your pet's murder, but I thought I was hosting Thanksgiving this year.
Beverly: Well, that doesn't sound right, so it isn't. And I'm already three hours into a 15-hour seasoning process.
Linda Schwartz: So? I made little menus with a calligraphy pen.
Geoff: She calls yams "yums." That was actually my contribution.
Erica: That's not the brag you think it is. And, Mom, Linda clearly thought she was doing Thanksgiving this year.
Beverly: She can still be a part of the festivities. I need help with the bird. You will be scooping out Popcorn's giblets.
Geoff: Giblets are not as cute as the name implies.
Erica: Just a butt full of guts.
Beverly: I suggest putting down a beach towel, 'cause this juicy Johnny's gonna leak something fierce.

Erica: Mom, you can't just steal Thanksgiving. It's Linda's turn.
Beverly: Oh, Linda. You know, I just hate seeing your pruney little face more wrinkled and sad than usual, so what about this? You can have your own holiday.
Erica: The hell does that mean?
Beverly: It means we'll all get together and have a thing at Linda's house.
Linda Schwartz: A "thing"?
Beverly: Yeah. We'll call it Linda Day.
Geoff: Ooh, Linda Day. That sounds fun.
Beverly: Maybe it'll be a completely random gathering, at your house, at your expense, anytime within the next six to nine months.
Linda Schwartz: What are we celebrating?
Beverly: I don't know, Linda. It's your day. The least you can do is figure out why we should care. [chuckles] Also, heads up, I can't make it.
Linda Schwartz: We didn't even settle on a date.
Beverly: I'm worried about feeding people right now. Perhaps you'd know what that's like if you'd ever planned a Thanksgiving.