[As Carlton holds an expensive figurine and takes an artwork off the wall:]
Philip: Carlton.
Carlton: What? I also put my diamond cuff links in a balloon and swallowed them.
Will: That's more than I ever wanted to know about you, Carlton.

Geoffrey: Miss Jewel Robertson.
Jewel: Jazzy!
Jazz: Munchkin!
Geoffrey: There's a lot to be said for a woman who's been in prison a long time.

Jazz: Munchkin, these are the lovely people who have opened their home and their wallet to us.
Will: Hey, I'm Will, the best man.
Jewel: Oh, yeah? As far as I can see, this here's the best man. I love this bony butt.
Jazz: And it loves you too, my pet.
Carlton: Carlton Banks here. I suppose you noticed our fine collection of European autos in our driveway.
Jewel: I also noticed you have a very small head.
Carlton: Hey.

Will: Well, hey, look, I've got an idea. Jazz, why don't you take Jewel into the kitchen and get her some grub.
Jewel: That's if tubby here hasn't eaten it all.

Jewel: Come in. Just trying on my wedding dress.
Will: Hey, Jewel, I just wanted to come and check to see if there's anything you needed. You know, a cup of coffee, a blood test.
Jewel: Actually, I thought I'd see if you could live up to your title. You know, best man.
Will: Oh, what did you have in mind?
Jewel: Could you help me with this?
Will: Oh, it's already zipped up.
Jewel: I know. I want you to zip it down.
Will: Um... I don't think that's a good idea. Listen, oh, my cousin Hilary is right down the hall. I'm gonna get her.
Jewel: Will, quit messing around. Come on, I gotta take a shower and do my hair. Now, hurry up.
Will: You know, if somebody was to walk in here right now... they might think you was hitting on me.
Jewel: Trust me, if I was hitting on you, you'd know it.
Will: Really? How? [Jewel jumps into Will's arms and kisses him] Okay, you made your point.

Philip: Anyway, I figured that our friendship was strong enough to stand the truth. So we went out for a beer and I told him everything.
Will: Well, did he thank you?
Philip: Oh, yeah. With a bar stool, on the head.
Will: Well, I mean, Jazz ain't the violent type... I don't think.
Philip: Well, the point is, to be a good friend, you have to risk losing a good friend.
Will: [sighs] I think I know what I gotta do.
Philip: What's that?
Will: I gotta find somebody else to talk to about this.

Jazz: See, me and Jewel, we got this crazy dream. We gonna keep our kids out of reform school.
Will: Listen, Jazz, what I-
Jazz: See, Will I don't know how long this happiness is gonna last. If it's for just one day... it's more than I've ever known before. So, what did you want to talk to me about?
Will: Oh, I just wanted to thank you for picking out these lovely yellow-and-green ensembles.
Jazz: You're welcome.

Philip: May I continue? We are gathered together to join this man and this woman in matrimony. If there's anyone who knows why they should not be together let them speak now, or forever hold their peace.
Jewel: [clears her throat while looking at Will] Some friend you are. I'm sorry, Jazzy, we can't get married.
Jazz: Munchkin.
Will: Jazz.
Prison Matron: Freeze!

Jazz: Munchkin, please. What about all our guests? And all the gifts? I ain't never owned anything that still had the serial number on it.
Jewel: Jazzy, I'm sorry, it just wouldn't work.
Jazz: Will. See if you could talk to her.
Will: Jazz, I can't.
Jazz: For little Earl's sake.

Will: Listen, Jewel, you cannot do this to Jazz. Marry him. Okay, you guys can just leave the state and put me behind you.
Jewel: Will, I can't.
Will: You have to.
Jewel: No, really, I can't, I'm on parole, I'm not allowed to leave the state.