Trevor: Anyway, Alexis said I couldn't have called at a better time. They're doing a show about political candidates and their families and she said that one of the families just dropped out.
Hilary: So they're flying all of us to Chicago tomorrow morning. I'm so excited. I have always wanted to go to Chicago. Oh, wait, am I going to need a passport?

Will: Oh, and by the way, Uncle Phil... I don't remember if I told you or not, but when I dropped the tape off at the editor, I just, you know, authorized a few last minute changes.
Philip: You authorized a few...? Nobody gave you permission to authorize any changes.
Will: No, but it's cool, Uncle Phil, you're going to love it. Here it comes.
Philip: [on TV] Hi, I'm Philip Banks, and I'm running for Superior Court J-J-J-Judge. [footage of Uncle Phil partying]
Philip: What the hell is that?
Vivian: That was our New Year's Eve party.
Will: Oh, Uncle Phil, you know, I just put in a couple of home movies you know, to show your human side. It gets better, check it out.
Philip: [on TV] And if you put me on the bench, I'll take a real bite out of crime. Bite, Bite, Bite. [footage of Uncle Phil eating pizza] Vote for Philip Banks. Philip Banks. Philip Banks.
Will: [laughs, cheers] Emmy! Hey, so what do you think, Uncle Phil?
[Uncle Phil throws Will out of the house, a la Jazz]

Will: Oprah, I have a question.
Oprah Winfrey: We're not ready for that portion of the show just yet, but, Mrs. Banks, answer me this if you will.
Will: I'm Will, Oprah, I can answer it.
Oprah Winfrey: Come here.
Will: Come? Me come?
Oprah Winfrey: Come here. Come on. Okay, see, this is it. I'm the one with the microphone. And you can't answer a question until I ask the question. You understand how it works?
Will: You ask then I answer. It works like...
Oprah Winfrey: Good. Now sit down. Sit down.