Geoffrey: You know, sir, the Earl of Cranbrook to whom I was in service for several years suffered from the most severe headaches.
Philip: And you're saying these were caused by some sort of stress?
Geoffrey: I should very much doubt it. He spent his days riding to the hounds, and his evenings attending rather pleasant dinner parties with his delightful wife, Lady Celia. Now, she was a terribly good snooker player, one of the best. One night, she bet-
Philip: Geoffrey. Where does the stress come in?
Geoffrey: Well, it certainly doesn't in Lord Cranbrook's case. I never saw a calmer household.
Philip: Then what was the point of the story?
Geoffrey: Sheer entertainment, sir.

Philip: You will drive her to her class, you will wait for her there, and you will bring her home.
Will: Oh, come on, man, I got to sit through a hour of them scratchy violins?
Philip: Will, you might learn something.
Will: Yeah, the same thing I learned from banging my head against a pole: Don't do it again.
Philip: This is your new job. Wednesdays you are Ashley's driver. Understood?
Will: Yes'm. I'll be more than happy to drive you to the Piggly Wiggly, Miss Daisy.

Will: Ash, just because your dad likes something, doesn't mean you have to like it. I mean, he likes being a lawyer. That doesn't mean you have to be a lawyer.
Ashley: I am going to be a lawyer.
Will: Look, Ash, the world does not need another Philip Banks. In fact, we might not have enough farmland to support the one we have. No, the world needs an Ashley Banks.