Lisa: Will, it's a carnival, relax. Listen, let's go play a game. You can win me a stuffed animal.
Will: Oh, why? So you can beat the stuffing out of it? Lisa, I'm telling you, I had that guy.
Lisa: Will.
Will: Had him!
Lisa: Will, I was only trying to help.
Will: Well, if you wanted to help, you should have let that fella bash my face in. Now, that would have been helpful.
Lisa: Now, let me get this straight. You'd rather a guy bash your face in than to have a woman who likes this face step in and save it?
Will: Finally you understand.
Lisa: Yeah, I think I do. I'm leaving.

Geoffrey: [answers phone] Banks residence. One moment, please, I'll check. Miss Lisa on the phone.
Will: Uh... G, look, just tell her I'm at the store.
Geoffrey: He says he's at the store. Yes, I'll tell him you called.

Hilary: Will, I think it's inexcusable what that friend Lisa of yours did yesterday.
Will: Thank you. Finally somebody who understands my side of it.
Hilary: Of course I do. If I was with a wimp who couldn't defend himself, I'd just leave.
Will: You know what? That's it. I'm putting an end to this mess right now.

Will: And then by the time the silkworm made it to Tibet, I was done with him.
Jazz: This situation reminds me of the one Theotis Jones was in.
Will: Theotis Jones?
Jazz: Yeah, his woman rescued his butt in some fight just like yours did.
Will: Well, what did he do?
Jazz: Last I heard, he was playing Diana Ross in La Cage aux Folles.

Thug: All right, get down. Don't you move.
Will: All right, it's showtime.
Thug: What?
Will: All right, buddy, you ain't going nowhere.
Lisa: Will, don't be a fool.
Thug: I'm warning you, pal, this thing is loaded.
Will: [quietly] Hey, look, point it right at me. Make it look real.
Thug: Huh?

Will: Thank you, thank you. Lisa, come stand by my side.
Lisa: Will, that was the most foolish thing I've ever seen. You could have been killed.
Will: No, but, baby... Baby.
Lisa: No. [exits]
Will: Jazz, you can take your fake cop. Lisa left.
Jazz: Will, he's real. And so is he.
Will: And all that for only 40 bucks?

Will: Hey, Lisa.
Lisa: Shouldn't you be out fighting crime?
Will: Listen, can I sit down?
Lisa: No, Will, I don't think so. You're too crazy for me.
Will: No, I'm crazy about you. There's a difference.

Will: Look, Lisa, that's the only reason I had that guy fake sticking up the place. Only a real robber came in. I thought it was the setup dude. Otherwise, I'd have been up under the table with you.
Lisa: Will, what exactly were you trying to accomplish?
Will: Honestly?
Lisa: Yes, please tell me.
Will: I was trying to fight Akira's dragon. Only the dragon was from without.
Lisa: Without what?
Will: That's the same place the whole thing fell apart for me too.

Will: Look, I think I could be cool with you being able to kick butt all over the city, but I got a feeling you got some other strengths too. And, you know, that's the part that kind of scares me.
Lisa: Will, just because I'm strong, it doesn't make you weak.
Will: I ain't never said I was weak.
Lisa: No. Look, why don't we just think of ourselves as being equals?
Will: Cool. But you know if we had the same job, I'm gonna still make more money.
Lisa: [laughs] Will you just shut up and kiss me?
Will: Yes'm.
Carlton: Get a room.