Fez Quote #413
Quote from Fez in The Girl I Love
Kelso: Yeah, you're all doomed. That's funny.
Eric: No, we're not all doomed. One man here still has a chance. One man can take a stand for all of us. And that man's name is... Well, we can't pronounce his real name, so we call him Fez!
Fez: I don't want to take a stand, I just want Nina to be my girlfriend and give me nooky.
Eric: Fez, come on. Give it a try. It'll be like Battle of the Network Stars. Think about it.
[fantasy:]
Kelso: Welcome back to the Battle of the Gender Stars, where it's the gals with 50 points. [girls cheer] And the guys with zero. But the guys still have a chance, 'cause our final event is conveniently worth 51 points.
Jamie Farr: You guys are pathetic.
Hyde: Wow, that's some tough talk, Jamie Farr.
Jamie Farr: I'm switching to the gals' team. I can do that, because I wear a dress on M.A.S.H.
Kelso: Okay, now let's meet our contestants. Representing the gals: the lovely Nina. And representing the guys: the lovely Fez. Fighters, go! [all clamoring]
Red: Make that tart eat some mud.
Nina: Oh, I forgot to tell you. We're going antiquing all weekend.
Fez: Oh, like hell we are. [knocks Nina into the mud]
[reality:]
Fez: I hate antiquing. Let's do this thing.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘The Girl I Love’ Quotes
Quote from Red
Red: Kitty? I know this change of life has upset you but we just bought wine the other day. What are you doing, brushing your teeth with the stuff?
Kitty: Red, it's not for me. Well, this one is. We're having a dinner party tomorrow night.
Red: No, can't do it. Battle of the Network Stars is on! See, once a year, they make TV stars compete at things they're not good at. I look forward all season to watching Ed Asner try to paddle a canoe. Makes me feel superior.
Kitty: Well, you shouldn't feel superior, because you know what I know about Ed Asner? Ed Asner would come to my dinner party, 'cause he knows how to treat a woman.
Red: Did you say "dinner party"? [chuckles] See, I thought you- Oh, screw it, I'll be there.
Quote from Fez
Fez: Guys, I really want Nina to like me so please, avoid the following topics: my addiction to candy, the fact that I have needs, and my use of Alberto VO5 Hot Oil Treatment.
Jackie: Wait. Fez, what does she care what you use on your hair?
Fez: Oh, I do not use it on my hair.
Quote from Kitty
Kelso: What's this about a party?
Kitty: Oh, well, we're having a party tomorrow night for Fez and Nina. I invited all the kids.
Kelso: I'm a kid.
Kitty: Well, it's for couples only. You can come if you bring a date.
Kelso: Well, it's too late to find a date. I mean, yeah, I'm sweet looking, but I'm no miracle worker.
Kitty: Well, maybe if you stop jumping from girl to girl, you wouldn't be alone. You're no Frank Sinatra, you know!
Kelso: You know, you used to be nice, but you've changed, lady!