Fez Quote #364
Quote from Fez in Eric's False Alarm
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Eric: Well, I called the Le Motel. Fez, you were right. Casey has a reservation for tonight.
Fez: And, Hyde, you were right. I cannot keep a secret.
Kelso: Speaking of secrets, look what I found in Jackie's cheese. Some guy Phil's phone number. I -I can't take this anymore. I just know it, Hyde. She's cheating on me again.
Hyde: Kelso, don't jump to conclusions. Maybe I don't care. Forman, man, you gotta be cool about this Donna thing or she's gonna know you're jealous. You can't be all Simon and Garfunkely. You gotta get Bruce Springsteeny. Springsteenian. Springsteenicious. Wait. What are we talking about?
Eric: Whoa. Hey, you guys, I'm not jealous. I'm just looking out for her. I mean, Donna's practically a sister to me. A tall, shapely sister. Who I've done it with. About a million times.
Hyde: Look, maybe Donna and Casey won't even do it tonight. I'd call it 50-50.
Eric: You would?
Hyde: Oh, I'd be wrong. But I'd call it that to keep you from doing something stupid.
Kelso: Forman, you gotta do something stupid. Sitting around feeling helpless all day, that isn't healthy. That's why I'm gonna stalk Jackie.
Fez: You know, I really love things with holes. Swiss cheese, doughnuts, inner tubes. I don't know what it is about a hole. It just feels good.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Eric's False Alarm’ Quotes
Quote from Bob
Kitty: Okay, Bob, I think the problem is that Joanne thinks you're moving just a little too fast.
Bob: That's just who I am. I do everything fast. I run fast. I drive fast. I eat fast.
Kitty: Okay, what happens when you eat fast?
Bob: I get gassy.
Kitty: Right. Okay, well, a relationship works the same way. When it grows too fast, it... it gets gassy, too. And-And- And then the bad thing happens and people leave the room.
Bob: Wow. A lot of people have told me to slow down, but nobody ever said it in a way that spoke to me.
Quote from Fez
Eric: Oh. Hey, guess what, fellas? Turns out I still have feelings for Donna. Yeah. Deep feelings. Warm feelings.
Tingly-in-the-pants feelings. And I can't do anything about it, because she has those feelings for someone else.
Kelso: I think that admitting that you still love Donna is an important step because it reopens the door for this. [singsong] Eric loves Donna! Eric loves Donna!
Eric: Look, you guys, I don't love her. I just think that if she's not with me the fairest thing for everyone is if she's alone and unhappy.
Kelso: No! That is a bad plan, man. 'Cause if you leave a chick alone, the next thing you know she's licking the roof of some other guy's mouth. Like the cheese guy. I hate that guy.
Fez: But you love his cheese. See, this is just like a Southern tragedy. Tennessee Williams, but with cheese. [off Hyde's look] I'm taking advanced English.
Quote from Kelso
Hyde: I just think we all need to zip it. [to Fez] Especially you.
Fez: Hey, I can keep a secret. I didn't tell Kelso you took five bucks from his wallet.
Kelso: Hyde!
Jackie: None of you guys can keep a secret.
Kelso: Well, you sure can, especially when it's about you kissing other guys.
Jackie: Michael, it was one guy from work, and I told you I'm sorry. God, how long are you gonna keep throwing that in my face?
Kelso: Well, how long are you gonna keep throwing your face in other guys' faces? Wow. That was clever. I think I won that! Yeah!