Hyde: Look, that chick likes Red because he's a tough guy, a hard-ass. You? You're soft.
Donna & Kelso: How soft is he, Hyde?
Hyde: Softer than Liberace at the Playboy Mansion.
Kelso: Yeah! [laughs] 'Cause he plays piano. Wait. [Donna whispers in Kelso's ear] Oh, burn! [howling laugh]
Eric: You guys kill me.

Eric: So, I'm a duck, huh? Yeah, we'll see who's a duck. [Red enters] Oh. Hey, there you are. Yeah, we need to talk, man. I've been thinking out this whole Stacey thing- It's your fault. Yeah. You were too tough on me, so now I'm soft.
Red: Oh, boo-hoo. You don't know the first thing about tough. My old man was tough. When I was your age, he shipped me off to the navy. He sure as hell wasn't setting me up with cute cashiers. Which I'm sorry I did. Because now I've got this creepy little girl giving me google eyes all day and sticking heart-shaped notes in my locker. And on top of it all, I had to have a talk with your mother about infidelity. That was unpleasant! So you just be grateful that your dad doesn't yell at you 24 hours a day! And don't give me that look, because this isn't yelling! When I yell, you'll know it! [exits]
Eric: Well, thanks. Good talk.

Fez: I just want her back like she was the first night I met her... on her knees, chugging beer straight from the keg.
Rhonda: But, Fez, I threw up twice that night.
Fez: Yes, all over my heart. You big, lovable, clumsy galoot. And now, it is time that you two left. Good day.
Jackie: But, Fez-
Rhonda: He said good day!