Red Quote #196
Quote from Red in Parents Find Out
Red: Boy, oh, boy. I'll tell you, Eric, you take the cake.
Eric: Oh, man, there's cake?
Red: There's no cake. We're all starving to death and it's all your fault. You broke your mother's heart! She's up there crying about how you're all grown up and you don't need her anymore.
Eric: But that- That's not true.
Red: Well, I know that. You're a helpless idiot.
Eric: Ah. Okay. I could pretend to need help with my homework.
Red: No, no. No-one gives a crap about that.
Eric: Oh, I could pretend to be sick.
Red: No that- Wait a minute, that might work. She mothered the heck out of you when you broke your leg that time.
Eric: Right, I could say I have a fever.
Red: Or better yet, we could go out to the garage, I hit you in the elbow with a baseball bat!
Eric: I'm gonna stick with the fever.
Red: If you wanna go through life doing everything half-assed, that's your decision, son.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Parents Find Out’ Quotes
Quote from Kitty
Red: Kitty, when it's three o'clock on a Saturday afternoon and you're still in bed, I know something is wrong.
Kitty: Oh, Red I'm fine. Why should I care that my sweet baby boy was defiled by some jiggly red-haired tramp?
Red: Kitty.
Kitty: What I can't figure out is how she tricked him into it.
Red: Look, it's not like we didn't know this was coming. You're always showing Eric anatomical diagrams and charts and slides. You've been prepping him since he was six.
Kitty: Are you blaming me?
Red: No, no, heck no. It's my fault. Men are dirty. It's...
Kitty: Well good.
Red: Kitty, I just want you to get out of bed. You know, none of us had lunch and, uh, we're kinda hungry.
Kitty: Well, it's a house full of grown men and I would think that one of you fully grown men would know how to make a damn sandwich!
Red: Well, maybe I should go-
Kitty: I sure as hell would!
Quote from Jackie
Jackie: So the cops caught you doing it? Oh, my God! Oh, my God. That is such a turn on!
Donna: That is not a turn on. You're a little pervert. Jackie, I have a big problem. How am I gonna tell my parents?
Jackie: Okay, if you need to use the bathroom, you should go now. Cause I have a lot to say.
Donna: No, I'm fine, thanks.
Jackie: Okay. You're first mistake was wearing pants for car-sex. When you do it in the car, skirts are your best friend! Zip-zap, bim-bam, you're done, you're dressed, you're back at the mall!
Donna: Jackie, I'm screwed. If I tell my parents, only one of two things could happen. Either they'll be furious, or they'll ask me how it was.
Quote from Red
Red: So, Kitty, you think maybe it's time to get up?
Kitty: No.
Red: Okay, you know what? Kitty, you gotta shape up! I can't believe that you're all surprised that your 17-year-old is doing what 17-year-olds do. Big deal! Now get the hell out of bed and buck up! [Kitty sobs] Oh, jeez. Honey, I'm sorry!
Kitty: Get out! [Red runs out]