Red: Boy, oh, boy. I'll tell you, Eric, you take the cake.
Eric: Oh, man, there's cake?
Red: There's no cake. We're all starving to death and it's all your fault. You broke your mother's heart! She's up there crying about how you're all grown up and you don't need her anymore.
Eric: But that- That's not true.
Red: Well, I know that. You're a helpless idiot.
Eric: Ah. Okay. I could pretend to need help with my homework.
Red: No, no. No-one gives a crap about that.
Eric: Oh, I could pretend to be sick.
Red: No that- Wait a minute, that might work. She mothered the heck out of you when you broke your leg that time.
Eric: Right, I could say I have a fever.
Red: Or better yet, we could go out to the garage, I hit you in the elbow with a baseball bat!
Eric: I'm gonna stick with the fever.
Red: If you wanna go through life doing everything half-assed, that's your decision, son.