Kelso Quote #767
Quote from Kelso in Can't You Hear Me Knocking
[circle in the living room:]
Hyde: This is our third circle and it hasn't calmed me down at all. I feel almost more suspicious than before.
Fez: I don't want to get sent back to my home country. If I return in shame, I'll get stoned. And then, you'll throw rocks at me.
Eric: Everybody just settle down, okay. Settle down! You are all losing your minds! Who is yelling? Who is yelling? We all just need to keep calm. [knock on door] That's the door. We're all gonna die!
[circle ends]
Kelso: It's okay. It's okay. I know what to do. Okay. Eric, you answer the door, we'll all sneak out the back.
Eric: What?
Kelso: Yeah, yeah. No, no, you'll go to jail, I'll pull some strings to get you out. Point Place PD has connections with the FBI, one of our dogs transferred from there.
That '70s Show Quotes
‘Can't You Hear Me Knocking’ Quotes
Quote from Hyde
Kelso: There's a black Ford sedan outside. Hyde's right, the Feds found us.
Hyde: Damn it, Kelso. You finally figure out how to use a phone, now we're all going to jail.
Eric: I think you guys are overreacting. There's no way the government would park a car right outside my house.
Hyde: Forman, anything you think the government's not doing, they are doing. The only thing they didn't do is land the man on the moon. No, no, no, no, no. Spielberg shot the entire thing in a Hollywood movie set. That's how he got the job for Jaws.
Quote from Kelso
Eric: Kelso, if you ask the White House if there's a Russian death ray, they're gonna have you committed. So, yeah, I say go for it.
Kelso: Well, obviously they won't admit it. There'd be panic in the streets. That's why I gotta trick them into talking about it. It's what us cops call "tricking them." I'm on. [on the phone] Hello? White House? Yeah, yes, I have a couple of questions. Yes, uh, how well is the President protected? Well, uh... because someone wants to hurt the President, that's why. You're damn right it's a threat, it's a terrible threat on the President's life. [Eric laughs]
Hyde: Awesome.
Kelso: What? Where am I right now? I'm in Red Forman's house in Point Place...
All: No! [Hyde hangs up the phone]
Hyde: You idiot, you just told them where we are.
Kelso: So?
Hyde: Kelso, you just threatened the President's life. They're gonna come here and arrest us.
Kelso: No, no, I'm not threatening his life. It's the Russians that have the Russian death ray.
Fez: You didn't mention the death ray.
Kelso: A-ha! So you admit that there's a death ray.
Quote from Red
Red: Oh, my God. There's a hundred morons in my basement. That's okay, not even that can ruin this day.
Eric: Yes, one man, and only one man, has the power to ruin his day. 'Tis I.
Red: Nope, not even you can do it. But really, who the hell talks like that?