Eric Quote #780

Quote from Eric in Substitute

Eric: Thief! He's a thief. You stole my Vader action figure.
Red: Oh, you, too? I thought Eric was the only one weird enough to play with a doll.
Eric: Action figure. You know, it's bad enough you stole a kiss from my girlfriend, but this... This has gone too far.
Donna: Oh, so my honor is less important than a doll?
Eric: Action figure! Now give it back.
Hyde: Hold on just a second. Now, Mitch, did you or did you not put onions in my omelet? 'Cause I asked for them, but I didn't see you put them in there.
Mitch: Eric, I didn't take your action figure.
Red: Doll.
Eric: Action figure!
Mitch: I wouldn't do that, especially not to a friend.
Eric: What? We're not friends, man. We never were. I only invited you over here 'cause I felt bad for you, but I don't like you. And guess what? Neither does anyone else.
Mitch: Fine. I won't bother you guys anymore. [exits and returns] And somebody needs to flip that in about three minutes. [exits]

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 ‘Substitute’ Quotes

Quote from Red

Bob: Wow, I love this place. It's not just dinner. It's a thrill ride, 'cause there's a small chance you're getting knifed.
Red: I don't know, Bob. I've tried to avoid Asians with weapons ever since 7,000 of them tried to kill me.
Kitty: Well... [chuckles] It's thanks to the work of brave men like you that America's enemies are working here for a minimum wage.

Quote from Red

Red: I just think it's pretty suspicious that after we left the Japanese restaurant our Japanese car broke down.

Quote from Bob

Bob: Okay, I'd like to thank everyone for coming back here with me. True, it is the place of my greatest humiliation. But the fish is good, the sake's strong, and these Japanese people are funny to watch.
Donna: That's the spirit, Dad. The slightly offensive spirit.