Eric Quote #427

Quote from Eric in Donna's Story

[fantasy:]
Eric: Please, Wanda, you don't have to boil me alive. Killing your cat was just a horrible accident.
Donna: I know, but I'm a witch. [thunderclap]
Eric: Dear God, why is a nice, sensitive guy like me dating a lying, manipulative witch like you?
Donna: Well, maybe it's because even witches have itches. [removes hat and cloak]
Eric: All is forgiven! [Donna dances]
[reality:]
Eric: God, why do all my stories end like that?
Fez: Don't stop. I like where you were going.

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 ‘Donna's Story’ Quotes

Quote from Fez

Fez: Um, guys, I don't understand. What does "consummate" mean?
Hyde: It means to have sex.
Fez: Really? Now I have two words for that.
Donna: Eric, you just wrote this to hurt me.
Eric: What? I did not! And, hey, so did you.
Donna: Look, when I wrote my story, I just sat down, and that's what came out. I didn't, like, plan it or anything. And besides- No, you know what? I don't have to explain myself to you. [exits]
Fez: Okay, I'd like someone to explain it to me.
Hyde: Uh, well, that's easy, Fez. See, Donna, as an artist wrote her story to get some perspective on her life. Forman, as a vindictive ass, wrote his story to be a vindictive ass.
Fez: Oh, Eric, I think you just consummated yourself. [laughs] See what I did there? Looks easy, but it's not.

Quote from Fez

Kelso: Listen, listen. So, I bought a half stake in this machine, all right? So that means for every quarter I put into it, I get half back. That's a 50% profit!
Fez: Uh, actually, Kelso, I think that's a 50% loss.
Kelso: Fez, I know it's hard for a foreigner to understand our complicated capitalist system. But we're dealing with quarters here, not frogs or chickens.
Fez: Well, I'm not going to dignify that with a response because I can't think of one. But when I do, a good day to you.
Kelso: All right, Fez.
Fez: I said kiss my ass.

Quote from Red

Kitty: Come on, Red. Bob really wants us to meet his new lady friend.
Red: Now, think about it, Kitty. She likes Bob. I have a hard time believing this woman even exists. We're gonna get over there, Bob's gonna be sitting in a rocker with a lady's wig on. "You look lovely tonight, Bob." "So do you, Bob."
Kitty: You've been working on that all day, haven't you?
Red: Yeah.