Fez Quote #725

Quote from Fez in Mother's Little Helper

Fez: No, Danielle, I love your outfit, but I just think you can always go tighter.
Kelso: Oh, my God, Danielle, you're alive!
Danielle: Yeah, why wouldn't I be?
Kelso: Well, then if you're not dead, then why did you blow off our date?
Hyde: Look at him try and put it together.
Eric: Oh, he's got it now. No, wait, he doesn't. Yeah, now... Wow, not yet. Wow. This is, like, the slowest burn ever.
Hyde: This is like how burns were in the 1800s before we had electricity.
Fez: Danielle stood you up so she could make out with the adorable new man in her life. Ah, me.
Danielle: That's right. Ah, him.

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 ‘Mother's Little Helper’ Quotes

Quote from Kelso

Donna: She chose Fez because he listens when a woman talks instead of staring at her chest. Stop staring at my chest!
Kelso: I'm sorry, look, I've been screwed by Darwinism. I never needed to evolve listening skills, 'cause my looks are so highly developed.
Donna: Um, that's not how evolution works.
Kelso: Yeah, sure it is. Look, say I had to catch my own food, right, but I only ate really fast animals? My feet would eventually evolve into rockets.
Hyde: Man, it's amazing your brain doesn't evolve into pudding.

Quote from Bob

Bob: Look, Red. You should take Kitty's request for a love life spice up seriously. When Midge wanted to turbo-charge our love life, it was really a symptom of a much deeper marital problem.
Red: Yeah, that you were deviants.
Bob: Deviants? Well, the couple we were dating sure didn't seem to think so.

Quote from Kitty

Eric: So, Mom, in the interest of returning regular meal service to my now shattered life, I'm here to help. So just tell me the problem beneath the dirty, gross problem.
Kitty: Honey, there is none. I just want your father and me to have more adventurous sexual intercourse.
Eric: Well, this is one of those times I'm kind of happy my stomach's empty. Um, look, instead of calling it, uh, sexual inter... [clears throat] Instead of calling it that, why don't we call it, like, a walk in the park?
Kitty: Fine. I want your father and I to have more adventurous walks in the park. I want to walk in the park in the kitchen. [chuckles] Walk in the park on a Tuesday. [chuckles] I even want to walk in the park in the park.
Eric: Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Okay, Mom. I think you're playing this all wrong. Dad wants you to have a deeper emotional issue. Invent one. He'll give you anything you want to avoid talking about... walks in the park. So think big. You know, I might be able to get you diamonds here. Maybe even a new car. This is like emotional Price is Right, baby. You're in the Showcase.
Kitty: Oh, I also want to walk in the park during The Price is Right. [laughs]
Eric: Oh, God.