Mateo Quote #296
Garrett: So you might be working with Dan the optometrist? Weird dude.
Mateo: I don't even care. They can hire me because it's run by a separate company. Kind of like with Dolly Parton and her husband, who live under the same roof but never talk to each other.
Garrett: Right, like that.
Mateo: But it doesn't matter. These interviews all go the same way anyway. I slay with the Q&A, it's electric... Then they ask for my Social and I go, "I don't have one." Then they go, "Thanks, we'll be in touch." Guess if they're ever in touch, Garrett.
Garrett: Oh, it's pretty clear from the context.
Mateo: They're not! They're never in touch.
Superstore Quotes
‘Self-Care’ Quotes
Quote from Justine
Marcus: She is! She's sleeping.
Jonah: Guys, okay, look. She's been working very hard.
Justine: Unlike us? I haven't stopped working since my shift started.
Jonah: Yeah, that's... That's kind of the deal.
Quote from Cheyenne
Jonah: Just a 15 minute power nap. Look, I've recreated your ideal sleep scenario. Okay so warm light, one pillow for your head, one pillow to hug. A laptop cued to the 11 o'clock news...
Cheyenne: Oh, and here's my night guard, in case you need it.
Amy: Um... no, thank you. Guys... I'm the manager of the store. I can't take a nap.
Jonah: Oh, come on. You need to recharge a little. You don't wanna end up collapsing in the store like Glenn.
Cheyenne: Yeah, or, like, falling asleep on the toilet with your underwear around your ankles, so when we find you, it looks like you passed out from pooing too hard, and then every time we look at you we're gonna think, "Oh, my God, that's the lady that pooed so hard she passed out." Is that what you want?
Amy: No, I... I honestly can't say that I want any of that.
Cheyenne: Mm-hmm.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: Oh, yeah, no, I am fine. In fact, I'm not pre-diabetic anymore.
Dina: You're cured? How's that possible?
Glenn: Oh, no I'm not cured. I'm just completely diabetic now. I bonked out because my body thought that I had too much sugar in my bloodstream. Agree to disagree. But anyway, my doctor says I can manage it all with just a few tweaks to my lifestyle.
Dina: Tweaks? You face plant in the break room and your doctor prescribes tweaks?
Glenn: Not bad, huh? Looks like I picked the right doctor.
Dina: How could he not notice your patchy skin, your weight gain, how your breath smells like a Jolly Rancher no matter what you've just eaten?
Glenn: Hey, Jerusha loves that. Every morning she asks me to breathe into her car.
Dina: Okay... tweaks aren't gonna cut it. You need to do a complete lifestyle overhaul. I carried your baby for nine months and I'm not gonna let her get abandoned the way I did. It's not fun going to a baseball game with your principal or learning how to skip stones from a pamphlet you had to send away for.
Glenn: I am not going to abandon Rose. The Sturgises all live into their 90s. We have kind of a deal... [points to the heavens] Anyway, I'm gonna be fine. Hey, Masoud! Guess who's not pre-diabetic anymore!