Jonah Quote #375
Quote from Jonah in Love Birds
Garrett: I feel guilty about the birds.
Jonah: Okay.
Garrett: I just- I just kind of need to talk to a friend.
Jonah: Oh, oh, well, I'm a friend, so talk away.
Garrett: It's just this is, like, the worst thing I've ever done, and I have no idea what Dina's going to do if she finds out that it was me.
Jonah: Oh, listen, you you do not have to worry about that, okay? Because I am not gonna tell her. This is a secret that stays amongst friends.
Garrett: No, I- I- I know- I can trust you. I mean, it's not like you're going to run off and tell Amy or anything like that.
Jonah: Oh, uh, Amy... Amy too. I mean, uh, of- of course Amy too. That's- Nobody needs to know.
Garrett: You haven't told her, right?
Jonah: [mumbling] Mm-mm.
Superstore Quotes
‘Love Birds’ Quotes
Quote from Garrett
Garrett: [over PA] Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, today we celebrate St. Valentine, a priest who was beaten, stoned, dragged through town, and decapitated. Some say the color red represents the pools of blood around his body. Cute teddy bears are 15% off.
Quote from Dina
Glenn: And that's pretty much it for this morning. [birds screeching] Except remember to be on the lookout for jilted lovers. We'd like to break the streak of revenge stabbings this Valentine's. Any questions?
Jonah: We can't hear anything you're saying.
Glenn: What?
Jonah: We can't hear anything you're saying!
Glenn: I'm sorry. I- I'm having a hard time hearing you over the birds.
Garrett: Maybe Dina shouldn't have brought her loud, dirty birds into work.
Dina: The birds are suffering severe separation anxiety. What am I supposed to do? Leave them home alone?
Amy: I mean, traditionally, that is what you do with pets. [clanging, screeching]
Sandra: If Dina can bring in her birds, I'd like to bring in my cat. He's very sick with dysentery.
Mateo: This is insane. It smells like Toucan Sam's butthole!
Jonah: Just because you eat something fruity, doesn't make your butt smell fruity.
Dina: For birds, it does. Small berries pass through them virtually undigested.
Glenn: Okay, good meeting, everyone!
All: What?
Quote from Sandra
Sandra: Hey, Dina? So I don't know what you thought you saw me and Jerry doing during the blizzard.
Dina: Oh, I know what I saw. It was like Winnie the Pooh with his head in the honeypot.
Sandra: What had happened was I had spilled coffee on my pants, so I took them off to dry, and Jerry came over to help, but he tripped and tipped over into my crotch, so...
Dina: Stop, please. I'm not gonna tell anyone about your little affair.
Sandra: Okay, thank you. I hate having secrets, although the sneaking around has made it even sexier.
Dina: Nope, nope, nope. That's gross.
Sandra: He comes over every night, and sometimes we make lasagna together and eat it off each other's bodies.
Dina: Elias, I'm gonna need you to clean up the vomit that's gonna be all over the ladies' bathroom in about three minutes. [to Sandra] Go on.