Glenn Quote #449
Quote from Glenn in Maternity Leave
Amy: [on the phone] Glenn, this really is not a good time. I just got back from the hospital three hours ago. I'm exhausted.
Glenn: Yeah, uh, yeah, sure. Okay. Uh, well, we'll just catch up at work.
Amy: Okay, I'll see you in six weeks.
Glenn: Yeah, sure. Or today.
Amy: What?
Glenn: So, apparently, a person doesn't qualify for leave if they've worked here under a year.
Amy: I know. I've been there 15 years.
Glenn: Yes, but when you were suspended for you know... [quavering] Um, your clock was started over.
Amy: Are you [bleep] kidding me?
Glenn: Look, I'm sorry. I tried to fight it. But if you don't come in, they are not gonna let me keep your job open.
Amy: Okay. Well, then I guess I'll see you soon.
Glenn: Thanks. And try to hurry, 'cause technically your shift started an hour ago. You were supposed to bring in doughnuts. A lot of people were really angry. [Amy hangs up] Okay, bye-bye.
Superstore Quotes
‘Maternity Leave’ Quotes
Quote from Amy
Amy: Sorry, you think that a bath bomb is the answer to all of my problems?
Glenn: It's not a real bomb, and-
Amy: Just kill yourself!
Glenn: What?
Amy: Kill yourself!
Glenn: Amy-
Amy: No, you don't get to talk right now! I am so tired! I have slept 90 minutes in three days. The lining of my uterus is coming out in clumps. I have hemorrhoids so big that my doctor looked at my [bleep] and said "Whoa!" Have you ever had a doctor look at your [bleep] and say that?
Glenn: [softly] No.
Amy: I am wearing frozen diapers so that my [bleep] doesn't fall out. Okay?!
Glenn: I know, I was just-
Amy: Why haven't you killed yourself?!
Quote from Sayid
Sayid: I hate to complain, but that machine is so noisy. I'll feel like I'm praying on the wings of an airplane.
Amy: Well, there's no volume button, so...
Sayid: It's just that when I make my-
Amy: This is the sound it makes, Sayid!
Sayid: Okay. Okay.
Quote from Cheyenne
Mateo: As you know, we love the name Parker.
Cheyenne: Ugh, love it so much. And we found out a few fun, interesting facts that we thought you might want to know.
Amy: Mmm-hmm.
Cheyenne: Did you know that the name Parker literally translates to "park keeper," so in other words, a homeless person.
Mateo: Sleep on the streets.
Amy: I don't know that anybody's making that connection.
Mateo: Not to your face they won't.
Cheyenne: The name Parker also brings to mind the snobby, rich, evil character in an '80s movie.
Mateo: Hey, nerds. I'm Parker. And I'm gonna throw you guys in a Dumpster.
Cheyenne: Yeah. But Mateo, what about Parker Posey?