Jonah Quote #338

Quote from Jonah in Maternity Leave

Jonah: Well, great, then, you know. We let the single best candidate we have take another job.
Garrett: All right, what about sex offender guy? I mean, do we know what he did? I mean, maybe it wasn't even that bad. Maybe he just, like, peed in the park or something.
Jonah: Oh, I- I looked it up. It- It wasn't that.

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 ‘Maternity Leave’ Quotes

Quote from Amy

Amy: Sorry, you think that a bath bomb is the answer to all of my problems?
Glenn: It's not a real bomb, and-
Amy: Just kill yourself!
Glenn: What?
Amy: Kill yourself!
Glenn: Amy-
Amy: No, you don't get to talk right now! I am so tired! I have slept 90 minutes in three days. The lining of my uterus is coming out in clumps. I have hemorrhoids so big that my doctor looked at my [bleep] and said "Whoa!" Have you ever had a doctor look at your [bleep] and say that?
Glenn: [softly] No.
Amy: I am wearing frozen diapers so that my [bleep] doesn't fall out. Okay?!
Glenn: I know, I was just-
Amy: Why haven't you killed yourself?!

Quote from Cheyenne

Mateo: As you know, we love the name Parker.
Cheyenne: Ugh, love it so much. And we found out a few fun, interesting facts that we thought you might want to know.
Amy: Mmm-hmm.
Cheyenne: Did you know that the name Parker literally translates to "park keeper," so in other words, a homeless person.
Mateo: Sleep on the streets.
Amy: I don't know that anybody's making that connection.
Mateo: Not to your face they won't.
Cheyenne: The name Parker also brings to mind the snobby, rich, evil character in an '80s movie.
Mateo: Hey, nerds. I'm Parker. And I'm gonna throw you guys in a Dumpster.
Cheyenne: Yeah. But Mateo, what about Parker Posey?

Quote from Sayid

Sayid: I hate to complain, but that machine is so noisy. I'll feel like I'm praying on the wings of an airplane.
Amy: Well, there's no volume button, so...
Sayid: It's just that when I make my-
Amy: This is the sound it makes, Sayid!
Sayid: Okay. Okay.