Jeff Quote #32
Quote from Jeff in Safety Training
Mateo: And I wish I could take it. But the truth is, um, I'm not really hurt.
Jeff: David, he's lying.
Mateo: I'm lying? What about all the times you said you were over Chad and you just jumped right back into bed with him?
Jeff: After you dumped me! I'm sorry, David. That's not relevant.
David: [on the line] That's okay. I have a gay son, so my views are very progressive.
Mateo: Okay, what about the time you said Jonah looks great in shirts? Yeah, were you lying or telling the truth then?
Jeff: I said he looks okay in shirts, but you wouldn't know that because you never listen.
Mateo: Because you add unnecessary details!
Jeff: You spent an hour talking about lavender!
David: Uh, it sounds like you guys still have some stuff to figure out. Jeff, why don't you take care of this and get back to me later, okay? Thanks. [Jeff hangs up]
Jonah: Well... that got silly.
Superstore Quotes
‘Safety Training’ Quotes
Quote from Marcus
Marcus: Cheese, what is it? Dried milk.
Amy: Uh, no. I don't think that's true.
Garrett: It is. It is, Amy. It's in a PowerPoint.
Marcus: Now, we all know the standard cheeses. American cheese, cheddar cheese, pizza cheese. But what if I told you there's one more out there?
Garrett: Pepper jack?
Marcus: No.
Jonah: Gouda?
Mateo: Swiss!
Glenn: Kraft Singles.
Dina: Goat, Parm, blue, ricotta. I could name at least ten more.
Quote from Sandra
Dina: But just so you know, Kelly's gonna start suspecting something if you keep lashing out at her.
Amy: What are you talking about? I don't lash out at Kelly.
Dina: [scoffs] Hey, Sandra, do you remember any time that Amy was lashing out at Kelly?
Sandra: January 4th, you said, "Kelly, I assume you've been to a monster truck rally." January 12th, you said, "Two people saying you look like Reese Witherspoon is not a lot of people."
Amy: Okay, we got it. Thanks, Sandra.
Sandra: January 20th, you said, "Wow, did they teach you that at pageant school?" January 21st, you said, "Wow, did they teach you that at pageant school?"
Amy: Okay, we got it, Sandra. Thank you.
Quote from Marcus
Marcus: No, guys, stop just yelling out random words. You're throwing me off. But what if I told you there's one more out there? Human cheese! [all retch]
Jonah: Oh, my God, is that what this is?
Glenn: I've had five samples already.
Marcus: No, no, this is just cut-up string cheese. I don't have enough money for a prototype. But it'll basically be exactly like that, I think. So who's ready to invest in the breast? It'll be udder-ly amazing!
Sandra: That's cows.
Marcus: Damn it, Sandra! You're messing with my flow. Ugh. [exhales, shudders] Cheese, what is it? Dried milk.