Marcus Quote #164

Quote from Marcus in Safety Training

Marcus: No, guys, stop just yelling out random words. You're throwing me off. But what if I told you there's one more out there? Human cheese! [all retch]
Jonah: Oh, my God, is that what this is?
Glenn: I've had five samples already.
Marcus: No, no, this is just cut-up string cheese. I don't have enough money for a prototype. But it'll basically be exactly like that, I think. So who's ready to invest in the breast? It'll be udder-ly amazing!
Sandra: That's cows.
Marcus: Damn it, Sandra! You're messing with my flow. Ugh. [exhales, shudders] Cheese, what is it? Dried milk.

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 ‘Safety Training’ Quotes

Quote from Marcus

Marcus: Cheese, what is it? Dried milk.
Amy: Uh, no. I don't think that's true.
Garrett: It is. It is, Amy. It's in a PowerPoint.
Marcus: Now, we all know the standard cheeses. American cheese, cheddar cheese, pizza cheese. But what if I told you there's one more out there?
Garrett: Pepper jack?
Marcus: No.
Jonah: Gouda?
Mateo: Swiss!
Glenn: Kraft Singles.
Dina: Goat, Parm, blue, ricotta. I could name at least ten more.

Quote from Sandra

Dina: But just so you know, Kelly's gonna start suspecting something if you keep lashing out at her.
Amy: What are you talking about? I don't lash out at Kelly.
Dina: [scoffs] Hey, Sandra, do you remember any time that Amy was lashing out at Kelly?
Sandra: January 4th, you said, "Kelly, I assume you've been to a monster truck rally." January 12th, you said, "Two people saying you look like Reese Witherspoon is not a lot of people."
Amy: Okay, we got it. Thanks, Sandra.
Sandra: January 20th, you said, "Wow, did they teach you that at pageant school?" January 21st, you said, "Wow, did they teach you that at pageant school?"
Amy: Okay, we got it, Sandra. Thank you.

 Marcus Quotes

Quote from Blizzard

Marcus: I had just deuced in the shower.
Isaac: Ugh.
Cheyenne: Ugh.
Amy: Why?
Marcus: Okay, right, when you guys are in the shower and you have to go, you just hold it.
Amy: Yes. Yeah. That's what you do when it's a number two.
Marcus: Sure, so you don't poop in the shower every morning and stamp it down the drain with your feet? [Justine gags]
Isaac: Oh, my God.
Marcus: Okay, whatever. Screw you, snowflakes. Bunch of princesses.

Quote from Health Fund

Marcus: You know what, I'm in too. If it is a pyramid scheme, at least I will be on the top ahead of all these suckers.
Jonah: That is sound logic, Marcus.