Glenn: Yeah, I'll be fine. I was so close to having a baby. But... You wanna be my surrogate?
Dina: The idea of carrying your child makes me wanna put a bullet through my uterus.
Glenn: I was joking. I wouldn't want you to carry my baby if you paid me the $20,000.
Dina: Wait, you're paying $20,000? Just for someone to squirt out your kid?
Glenn: Well, yeah, a little bit more.
Dina: I mean, that's practically what I take home in a year. I could fix up my house. Pay off my credit card bills. I could put my mom away for good with money like that.

Glenn: Turns out that when you can't pay top dollar, the surrogates you get are just a bunch of plops.
Cheyenne: Aw, I'm sure you'll find someone.
Glenn: I don't know. Sometimes I think that maybe God is trying to send me a message that people in their late 50s shouldn't conceive a child.

Kelly: You should go with this one. It's 4K.
Man: What does 4K mean?
Kelly: Oh, um, The first K is "knowledge." And then the second K...
Mateo: 4K televisions have 8.3 megapixels. The human eye is literally incapable of appreciating a finer resolution than this.
Man: Wow. Okay, I'll take it.
Mateo: There you go.
Man: Thank you.
Kelly: It has all of the channels.