Dina Quote #76
Dina: I can't compete with this. It's like Chinese people's only purpose in life is to humiliate me.
Garrett: So you're trying to make your closing ceremonies compete with the actual ceremony from the actual Olympics?
Dina: I need a helper. How about this? We start with a fleet of helicopters descending on the store.
Garrett: Okay, we? I'm... me? I'm the helper?
Dina: Yeah.
Garrett: Okay. Well, how about, instead of helicopters, we go for something a tad less ambitious and use, like, streamers?
Dina: Interesting. We could shoot them out of a cannon. Or we could put a cannon on a helicopter.
Garrett: Ooh, okay, well, and then, building on that, how about none of that stuff, and everybody carries a tiny little flag?
Dina: What?
Garrett: Look. Maybe we should focus on stuff we can actually pull off.
Dina: Okay. I hear you. Right? I'm being unreasonable. Do you have access to a team of white stallions?
Garrett: A team? No.
Dina: Then I'm back to helicopters.
Superstore Quotes
‘Olympics’ Quotes
Quote from Mateo
Mateo: It's not like I don't love America. I do. But it's not perfect. You guys are way too into brunch. I wish Asians were allowed to vote. And I... I don't really get the whole basement thing...
Jonah: Hold on. Hold on a second. What are you... What are you talking about?
Mateo: Yeah, I know... it's a democracy. One person, one vote... oh, unless you're Asian-American. Tell me why that is.
Jonah: I don't know that I can. Are you... Mateo, you're an American citizen, right?
Mateo: Oh, just 'cause I'm Asian, I can't be a citizen?
Jonah: No, no, I'm... I'm sorry. It's just that I've read about so many situations where parents bring their kids into the country illegally, and then, you know, they don't even tell them that they're undocumented.
Mateo: Believe me, I have plenty of documents. I went to the green card store personally with my grandmother.
Jonah: The... green card store?
Mateo: Yeah, they sell green cards and knockoff handbags and bootleg Spider-Man DVDs.
Quote from Marcus
Marcus: I wrote "go to Mars."
Amy: That's a great example. Um, I think Missy would say... if you want to go somewhere interesting, then maybe write something like, um...
Jonah: "Go to Disneyland."
Amy: Exactly.
Marcus: Are you insane? It's super expensive. [overlapping agreement]
Amy: Okay, but you think that... never mind.
Quote from Sandra
Dina: What about you? I assume you have no special skills.
Sandra: Um, I have highly superior autobiographical memory. It means I remember everything that happened every day of my life.
Dina: Wow. That must be excruciating. Your life is pathetic.
Sandra: That's exactly what you said the last time I told you. April 8, 2012. Sorry.