Amy Quote #443
Quote from Amy in Minor Crimes
Laurie: Amy! "The Aiming of the Shrew."
Amy: Hey, Laurie.
Laurie: I have been meaning to talk to you. I want to make you a manager.
Amy: Um, what? What, uh, me? What about Blaine?
Laurie: He... Blaine's great. Um, it's just you know, I've been thinking about it, and I looked through your file, and clearly, you're the most qualified person here, so...
Amy: Um, wow. That is a lot to take in all of a sudden.
Laurie: Big, big opportunity.
Amy: I know, um, just before I say yes or no, I just want to be clear. Um, if you're offering it to me because I'm the best person for the job, then yes! I will take and I will be kick-ass. But if you're offering it to me because of [sniff] Then, uh, you know, you don't have to do that. It's not like I'm going to go tell anyone.
Laurie: Really? Wow. Okay. I appreciate that. Not too many people would do that. [clicks tongue]
Amy: Thank you. Sorry, wait, I'm sorry. Uh, so where did we land exactly?
Laurie: What do you mean?
Amy: Do I have the job?
Laurie: But I thought you just turned it down.
Amy: Well, no, I mean, that just only if you were offering it to me because of the drug thing, but if you were offering it to me because of my abilities, then...
Laurie: Hmm. So this is awkward.
Superstore Quotes
‘Minor Crimes’ Quotes
Quote from Mateo
Jonah: Glenn, you're not going to go to prison, okay? It's fine. We- We just need to do about what, 12 grand worth of damage in- In the next hour.
Mateo: Oh. We have fertilizer in the garden center. We can make a bomb.
Jonah: I feel like going from embezzlement to domestic terrorism is the wrong direction.
Mateo: We could hire termites to eat the store.
Jonah: How do you hire termites?
Mateo: I don't know, with wood?
Quote from Marcus
Marcus: You got to do what's for the greater good. If you could cure cancer, but you had to blow up a bus full of children, wouldn't you do it?
Amy: I mean, I guess?
Jonah: Just take the job. You're not just doing it for you. You're doing it for all of us.
Amy: I mean, I guess I would be better than Blaine.
Jonah: Yeah.
Marcus: Hey, Amy, guess what? One of the kids on that bus had the cure. [crunch]
Justine: Twist ending.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: And guys, I say this a lot, but we really need to wet down those raccoon droppings before we sweep.
Dry sweeping is the reason why those roundworm eggs go airborne. God, I just realized this is the last time I'm going to tell you guys to spray your droppings.
Justine: Aww.