Amy Quote #382

Quote from Amy in Maternity Leave

Garrett: Yikes.
Jonah: Hey, Ames. Y- You okay?
Garrett: Yeah, I'm not trying to flatter you or anything, but you look like the homeless lady who sleeps next to the loading dock.
Amy: I've never been so tired. I was doing go-backs, and I couldn't remember where the Toy aisle was. And then I found it, and I unloaded my cart but then realized that firewood doesn't belong in the Toy aisle. And then I think I took someone else's cart, because I don't think we think we sell this bag with a wallet and keys and someone's mail in it.
Jonah: Amy, you're, uh... You...
Amy: Are you [bleep] kidding me?
Jonah: She's lactating.
Garrett: Yeah, I know how breasts work.


 ‘Maternity Leave’ Quotes

Quote from Amy

Amy: Sorry, you think that a bath bomb is the answer to all of my problems?
Glenn: It's not a real bomb, and-
Amy: Just kill yourself!
Glenn: What?
Amy: Kill yourself!
Glenn: Amy-
Amy: No, you don't get to talk right now! I am so tired! I have slept 90 minutes in three days. The lining of my uterus is coming out in clumps. I have hemorrhoids so big that my doctor looked at my [bleep] and said "Whoa!" Have you ever had a doctor look at your [bleep] and say that?
Glenn: [softly] No.
Amy: I am wearing frozen diapers so that my [bleep] doesn't fall out. Okay?!
Glenn: I know, I was just-
Amy: Why haven't you killed yourself?!

Quote from Cheyenne

Mateo: As you know, we love the name Parker.
Cheyenne: Ugh, love it so much. And we found out a few fun, interesting facts that we thought you might want to know.
Amy: Mmm-hmm.
Cheyenne: Did you know that the name Parker literally translates to "park keeper," so in other words, a homeless person.
Mateo: Sleep on the streets.
Amy: I don't know that anybody's making that connection.
Mateo: Not to your face they won't.
Cheyenne: The name Parker also brings to mind the snobby, rich, evil character in an '80s movie.
Mateo: Hey, nerds. I'm Parker. And I'm gonna throw you guys in a Dumpster.
Cheyenne: Yeah. But Mateo, what about Parker Posey?

Quote from Sayid

Sayid: I hate to complain, but that machine is so noisy. I'll feel like I'm praying on the wings of an airplane.
Amy: Well, there's no volume button, so...
Sayid: It's just that when I make my-
Amy: This is the sound it makes, Sayid!
Sayid: Okay. Okay.