Glenn Quote #710
Jonah: So... retirement, huh? Got any big plans?
Glenn: Yeah, I think I might finally watch The Queen's Gambit.
Jonah: Okay, so that's... seven episodes. What else?
Glenn: Well, I hadn't really thought much beyond that. Gosh, I guess there's gonna be a lot of hours to fill, huh?
Jonah: Yeah, yeah, but that's a good thing, right, Glenn? I mean, I'm sure you've got hobbies.
Glenn: No, 'cause work is all I've ever known, Jonah. I mean, I started at my dad's hardware store when I was eight, and before that, I worked at the tollbooth.
Jonah: Glenn, I'm sure you're gonna be fine. I- There's gotta be something that you can do.
Glenn: Well, what if I got a 500 piece puzzle? That'd take up some time, right?
Glenn: What, you want me to get a 1,000 piece puzzle? How much table space do you think I have, Jonah?
Quote from Jonah
Glenn: [on video] Jonah Simms. Wow, you have had a lot of jobs.
Jonah: [on video] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I worked at a consulting firm for a few months and then an ad agency for six weeks. I sold gym memberships. I went to business school for a semester, but now I'm just at a place in my life where I really want to change. You know, I just want to spend a couple months just not using my brain. [all jeer]
Jonah: All right, yeah, I know. I get it. I know. I can't listen to myself either, so enjoy. [laughter] All right, all right.
Glenn: [on video] Use your brain?
Jonah: [on video] No, no, I mean, it's not just that. It's you know, when you think about it, a store like this is actually pretty incredible, you know? You help people do their homework and find their styles and feed their grandchildren. You know, there's magic in that. I don't know, people always talk about going out and finding something special, but, you know, maybe we don't have to look that hard. You know, maybe everything is special.
Quote from Garrett
Garrett: [over PA] Attention, shoppers. It's the final day of our liquidation sale before the doors close for good. Our selection's fairly picked over, but the following items are still available: Ladies' golf shoes size 14 and above, grape-scented laundry detergent, and the VHS box set of Sweet Valley High. Buy 'em while you can, or else wait a day and fish 'em out of our dumpster.
Quote from Conspiracy
Glenn: I'm sorry. Just... I started doing some research, and I came across this article, "The Truth About Zephra." I think there's some fishy business going on.
Dina: Oh, like tax evasion, offshore banking? What are we talking here?
Glenn: You know how everyone's pushing this 5G? Well, turns out 5 is the worst of the Gs. They say that it hits your brain at a certain frequency that lets them control human behavior.
Dina: You think Zephra's involved in mind control? Okay, that's enough screen time for you.
Glenn: No, it's not that I believe in mind control, but they are trying to control how we greet customers.
Dina: Glenn, enough. This is why old people shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.
Quote from Biscuit
Glenn: It is so nice to be out of quarantine and back running this store. God, I so missed talking to real people. You know, sometimes I pretended that the Nativity figurines in my garage were you guys. [to Jonah] You were the baby Jesus.
Jonah: That's... great. Thank you.