Jonah Quote #576

Quote from Jonah in All Sales Final

Glenn: [on video] Jonah Simms. Wow, you have had a lot of jobs.
Jonah: [on video] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I worked at a consulting firm for a few months and then an ad agency for six weeks. I sold gym memberships. I went to business school for a semester, but now I'm just at a place in my life where I really want to change. You know, I just want to spend a couple months just not using my brain. [all jeer]
Jonah: All right, yeah, I know. I get it. I know. I can't listen to myself either, so enjoy. [laughter] All right, all right.
Glenn: [on video] Use your brain?
Jonah: [on video] No, no, I mean, it's not just that. It's you know, when you think about it, a store like this is actually pretty incredible, you know? You help people do their homework and find their styles and feed their grandchildren. You know, there's magic in that. I don't know, people always talk about going out and finding something special, but, you know, maybe we don't have to look that hard. You know, maybe everything is special.

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 ‘All Sales Final’ Quotes

Quote from Glenn

Jonah: So... retirement, huh? Got any big plans?
Glenn: Yeah, I think I might finally watch The Queen's Gambit.
Jonah: Okay, so that's... seven episodes. What else?
Glenn: Well, I hadn't really thought much beyond that. Gosh, I guess there's gonna be a lot of hours to fill, huh?
Jonah: Yeah, yeah, but that's a good thing, right, Glenn? I mean, I'm sure you've got hobbies.
Glenn: No, 'cause work is all I've ever known, Jonah. I mean, I started at my dad's hardware store when I was eight, and before that, I worked at the tollbooth.
Jonah: Glenn, I'm sure you're gonna be fine. I- There's gotta be something that you can do.
Glenn: Well, what if I got a 500 piece puzzle? That'd take up some time, right?
Jonah: Some.
Glenn: What, you want me to get a 1,000 piece puzzle? How much table space do you think I have, Jonah?

Quote from Garrett

Garrett: [over PA] Attention, shoppers. It's the final day of our liquidation sale before the doors close for good. Our selection's fairly picked over, but the following items are still available: Ladies' golf shoes size 14 and above, grape-scented laundry detergent, and the VHS box set of Sweet Valley High. Buy 'em while you can, or else wait a day and fish 'em out of our dumpster.

 Jonah Simms Quotes

Quote from Health Fund

Amy: Okay, so in the first four hours, you've managed to commit us to $37,000.
Jonah: The claims just kept coming, and, you know, it's like that opening in Star Wars where the words zoom past you. And at first it's cool, but eventually you just can't keep up.
Amy: Wait, Sandra alone has asthma, rheumatoid arthritis, sciatica, fibromyalgia, leaky gut syndrome... This just keeps going.
Jonah: We just got to keep signing people up. That's all, okay? If we get everybody in the backroom to sign up then that will pay for these people. And then we can go to other branches and then that will pay for the backroom...
Amy: [gasps] This is a pyramid scheme.

Quote from Election Day

Jonah: Not to put my head in the lion's mouth, but now I'm thinking Times New Roman.
Amy: [sighs] Times New Roman would be a fine font, Jonah, and so would Helvetica and Garamond, and really any font would be just fine.
Jonah: Not Wingdings.
Amy: No one was suggesting Wingdings.