Kelly Quote #63
Jonah: Just so you know, I had no part in this. Everybody thinks I'm still hung up on Amy.
Kelly: Oh, no, thank you.
Kelly: I'm done getting tangled in the crazy of you people. So I'm keeping my head down and getting through this shift because I am saving for a Roomba.
Jonah: That's fair, but you should know...
Kelly: Oh, no, no. No, thank you.
Quote from Carol
Carol: Today was fun. Sometimes I feel like people think I'm a weirdo, but you made me feel really cool today.
Cheyenne: Aw, can I be real with you a sec? Dina assigned me to hang out with you today to, like, write down any bad or crazy things you did. She said Corporate wanted it.
Carol: My lawyer warned me this might happen.
Cheyenne: But don't worry, I'm not gonna give them anything because, bottom of my heart, you are, like, high-key fire.
Carol: Oh, well, thanks. And I know you won't give them anything because I recorded your little confession. How you stole that makeup? So you screw with me, you get fired.
Cheyenne: Carol, that is so savage. I love you so much right now.
Carol: I know you do. Bye, bitch.
Cheyenne: Goodbye, bitch.
Quote from Marcus
Marcus: Hey. So, uh, heard you're moving out.
Jonah: Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, Marcus. I-I wanted to tell you.
Marcus: I just want you to know I'm not coming with you.
Jonah: Yeah, no, yeah, I thought that was to be assumed.
Marcus: I just don't think you're ready to have a roommate right now, and I deserve one who will shout it from the rooftops.
Jonah: You know what? You do, Marcus. You were never late on rent, you always filled up the Brita. You were a great roommate.
Marcus: Wow. That didn't suck to hear. Um, hey, we should come up with a new secret.
Jonah: Oh, I don't think we need to...
Marcus: Tonight, you and me, the quarry. We'll definitely see something messed up, and if it ever gets brought up, deny, deny, deny.
Jonah: Yeah, man. Let's do it.
Marcus: Do what? [clicks tongue]
Quote from Golden Globes Party
Kelly: Ugh, I'm overdressed. I thought going to a Golden Globes party was like, you dress for the Golden Globes.
Jonah: I think you look nice.
Kelly: I'm just nervous, you know? I mean, I feel like I'm still not part of the group.
Jonah: No, no, you're part of the group. It's like if this was the Scooby Doo gang, you would be Scrappy Doo... a late addition, but everybody loved him.
Kelly: Everyone hated Scrappy Doo. He only got to hang out with them because he was related to Scooby.
Quote from Town Hall
Carol: Jonah's a jerk, by the way. You deserve so much better.
Kelly: Thanks. I appreciate that.
Carol: So what are we going to do to him? Revenge porn on the Internet? Give his credit card info to a bum?
Kelly: Or... maybe someone tells the cops he's cooking meth. Then, uh-oh, there's an ounce of it found in his sock drawer. How'd that get there?
Carol: Wow, that's aggressive.
Kelly: Or he's got two brothers. [pushes cart towards Carol] Be a shame if something happened to them. Then he'd be all alone.
Carol: Well... I'm just going to go...
Kelly: Well let me know, Carol. I've got nothing to lose anymore. [Carol backs away]