Carol Quote #141

Quote from Carol in The Trough

Carol: Today was fun. Sometimes I feel like people think I'm a weirdo, but you made me feel really cool today.
Cheyenne: Aw, can I be real with you a sec? Dina assigned me to hang out with you today to, like, write down any bad or crazy things you did. She said Corporate wanted it.
Carol: My lawyer warned me this might happen.
Cheyenne: But don't worry, I'm not gonna give them anything because, bottom of my heart, you are, like, high-key fire.
Carol: Oh, well, thanks. And I know you won't give them anything because I recorded your little confession. How you stole that makeup? So you screw with me, you get fired.
Cheyenne: Carol, that is so savage. I love you so much right now.
Carol: I know you do. Bye, bitch.
Cheyenne: Goodbye, bitch.


 ‘The Trough’ Quotes

Quote from Carol

Carol: So it's come to this. Everyone else refused to work with me so I guess the floor supervisor has to do it.
Cheyenne: Uh, yeah, that.
Carol: Okay, top shelf. Whoops. Almost forgot my safety belt.
Cheyenne: Hmm, right. Would've sucked if you forgot.
Carol: Ugh, you know, they don't pay us enough to deal with this crap. Well, me. I guess you're making more now.
Cheyenne: Nah, I actually haven't gotten my pay raise yet. Dina said something about my paperwork still processing. I guess it has something to do with the economy being so bad or good or whatever.
Carol: No, friend, you're getting screwed. This is classic Corporate. We do all the work and they're the ones getting rich up in their fancy Zephra campus with their free sushi and daycare and covered parking.
Cheyenne: [scoffs] What? They get free daycare? Sometimes I have to leave Harmonica zipped up in our trampoline with snacks.
Carol: That's why I'm suing. I'm tired of waiting for their crumbs to hit the floor. I am taking a seat at the table, and I'm gonna lick everybody's bread.
Cheyenne: That is so gross and cool.
Carol: Thanks. You know, I'm gonna win this lawsuit for all of us, and if I lose, I'll burn down that Zephra daycare for you.
Cheyenne: Oh, my God. All I can say is wow, and, um, please don't do that.

Quote from Marcus

Marcus: Hey. So, uh, heard you're moving out.
Jonah: Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, Marcus. I-I wanted to tell you.
Marcus: I just want you to know I'm not coming with you.
Jonah: Yeah, no, yeah, I thought that was to be assumed.
Marcus: I just don't think you're ready to have a roommate right now, and I deserve one who will shout it from the rooftops.
Jonah: You know what? You do, Marcus. You were never late on rent, you always filled up the Brita. You were a great roommate.
Marcus: Wow. That didn't suck to hear. Um, hey, we should come up with a new secret.
Jonah: Oh, I don't think we need to...
Marcus: Tonight, you and me, the quarry. We'll definitely see something messed up, and if it ever gets brought up, deny, deny, deny.
Jonah: Yeah, man. Let's do it.
Marcus: Do what? [clicks tongue]

 Carol Quotes

Quote from Part-Time Hires

Carol: Wanna hear a secret?
Kelly: Sure.
Carol: I have a plan to get Jerry back.
Kelly: I'm sorry. I don't know who...
Carol: Sandra's boyfriend. Well, my boyfriend that she stole from me. He's in a coma, but I'm going to sneak into his hospital room when she's not there. I climb up on the bed, and oopsy! I forgot my underwear. Next thing you know, I'm pregnant with Jerry's baby. Now, stay with me, because this is where it starts to get a little dark.
Kelly: That's okay.
Carol: You don't want to hear the rest?
Kelly: No, I'm cool.

Quote from Easter

Cheyenne: What other private areas do you spy on us in? Are there cameras in the bathroom?
Carol: Oh, my God, are you watching us masturbate at work?
Amy: Uh... no. And you shouldn't be masturbating at work.
Carol: Then how do you know I'm doing it? [raises hand for a high-five]
Cheyenne: I'm good, thanks.