Jerry: Well, at least you probably had some, uh, pretty good make-up sex after.
George: I didn't have any sex.
Jerry: You didn't have make-up sex? How could you not have make-up sex? I mean, that's the best feature of the heavy relationship.
George: I missed out on the make-up sex.
Jerry: In your situation, the only sex you're going to have better than make-up sex is if you're sent to prison and you have a conjugal visit.
George: Yeah, conjugal visit sex. That is happening.

Woman: [crying]
Man: I can tell you're very upset, but I'm sorry I'm not going.
George: [to Jerry] Did you hear that? I can't believe this. He's eating his sandwich.
Man: Are you going to eat those fries?
George: This is amazing. [George gets up to leave and shakes the man's hand] Thank you. Thank you very much. I'm going back in! [taps the woman on the shoulder] Feel better.
Jerry: Poor bastard.

Rabbi: Well, it seems the engagement of her friend George has left her feeling bitter and hostile.
Jerry: Is that so?
Rabbi: Yes. In fact, she told me that she wishes she was the one getting married.
Jerry: Really?
Rabbi: She came off as pretty desperate.
Jerry: I didn't know any of this.
Rabbi: Apparently she doesn't think much of this George fellow either. I recall the word loser peppered throughout her conversation.
Jerry: Hum, well it all comes as news to me.

George: Could I talk to you for a minute?
Susan Ross: Yeah, sure.
George: You see this is the thing... [sobbing] I just feel like I can't do this in December. I just feel like I need a little more time because I feel like I'm not ready yet. I'm frightened and I'm scared. And I just feel like we need a little more time to get to know each other. But I could do it in March. I promise. I promise. No more postponements. I just need three more months, please.
Susan Ross: Oh, George. George. Of course, of course it can wait until March if that is what you want.
George: Yeah?
Susan Ross: Oh, don't worry your head. Of course.
George: All right. [smiles behind her back]

Elaine: He told you about our conversation?
Jerry: Oh, we had quite a little chat.
Elaine: He told you about...
Jerry: Yes. About how you're very jealous of George. How you wished you were getting married instead of him.
Elaine: He told you all that? How could he?
Jerry: It didn't take much prodding either, I must say.
Elaine: Can he do that?
Jerry: He did it.
Elaine: But he's a rabbi! How can a rabbi have such a big mouth?
Jerry: That's what's so fascinating.

Jerry: You better finish your little caffe latte there. They'll never let you in with it.
Kramer: Why not?
Jerry: Because they don't allow outside drinks into the movie.
Kramer: Well, that's stupid.
Jerry: That's the rule.
Kramer: Well, we'll just see if we can't get around that.
[Kramer puts coffee cup into his pants]

Elaine: Listen, Rabbi, I'd like to ask you a question. Why? Why did you tell my friend Jerry what I talked to you about?
Rabbi: Was that a problem for you?
Elaine: Of course it was a problem for me. You didn't, you didn't tell anyone else about this, did you?
Rabbi: Well, let's see? I seem to recall a conversation with Mrs. Winston in 1F.
Elaine: Mrs. Winston?
Rabbi: Yes, we were waiting for our mail to arrive and I happened to mention to her how you felt that it was never going "to happen" for you.
Elaine: What about Don Ramsey? You didn't mention anything to him did you?
Rabbi: Don Ramsey?
Elaine: You know, that tall really good looking guy? He lives on the fifth floor.
Rabbi: Oh, him. Well, this morning, I happened to find myself in the elevator with him…
Elaine: My God, you didn't.

Usher: Hey, hey, what's going on? What just happened here?
Kramer: Nothing Nothing.
Usher: What do you got? One of those caffe latte's in your shirt?
Kramer: I don't have anything. Ask him.
[Jerry makes a drink gesture]
Usher: All right. Come on, Coffee Boy, bring it out.

Elaine: I mean, the whole thing is a mess. He told everyone in the building. I ran into that cute guy on the fifth floor. I mean, he could barely bring himself to nod.
Jerry: Elaine, if I could say a word here about Jewish people. That man in no way represents our ability to take in a nice piece of juicy gossip and keep it to ourselves.
Elaine: You didn't say anything to George, did you?
Jerry: No. About how you wish it was you who was getting married instead of him? Feelings of resentment, hostility?
Elaine: Yeah, yeah. So what?

George: [enters] Hey, oh.
Elaine: Georgie! Congratulations! Oh, my God. I haven't seen you since it happened. I couldn't be happier for you.
George: Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot.
Elaine: Oh, come on. Come on. You really, really deserve it. [kisses George]
George: Oh, deserve! I don't know if I deserve...I mean...
Elaine: Are you kidding? I have seen the changes in you the past couple of years. Man, you have grown. You've matured.
George: Well, I guess I'm getting older.