Elaine: Oh, hello, Rabbi Krischma.
Rabbi: [stilted] Elaine. Always a pleasure to see you.
Elaine: Thanks again for taking care of that dog for us.
Rabbi: Elaine, often times in life there are problems, and just as often there are solutions.
Elaine: Yeah, I suppose.
Rabbi: Elaine, you don't seem yourself today. You seem, if I may say, troubled.
Elaine: No, Rabbi, I'm not myself.
Rabbi: Come upstairs. We'll have a talk.

George: Well, I told it to Susan before, and she didn't like it.
Jerry: Hmm.
George: Yeah. Not only that, this is what she said to me, "Can we change the subject?"
Jerry: See, now, that I don't care for.
George: Right. I mean, we're on a subject. Why does it have to be changed?
Jerry: It should resolve of its own volition.
George: That's exactly what I said, except I used the word "momentum".
Jerry: "Momentum", same thing.

George: My God, I'm getting married in December, do you know that?
Jerry: Yeah, I know.
George: Well, I don't see how I'm gonna make December. I mean, I need a little more time. I mean, look at me I'm a nervous wreck. My stomach aches. My neck is killing me. I can't turn. Look. Look.
Jerry: You're turning.
George: No, it's not a good turn. December. December.

George: Don't you think we should have a little more time just to get to know each other a little?
Jerry: If you need more time, you should have more time.
George: What, you think I could postpone it?
Jerry: Sure you can. Why not?
George: That's allowed? You're allowed to postpone it?
Jerry: I don't see why not.
George: So, I could do that?
Jerry: Sure, go ahead.
George: All right! All right.

George: March 21st. Hey! So, you're gonna back me on this, right?
Jerry: Oh, all the way.
George: You are a good friend. You know what? Even if you killed somebody I wouldn't turn you in. [exits]
Jerry: Is that so?

Elaine: I really appreciate your taking time to talk with me, Rabbi. You know, I'm not of your faith. Infact, I'm not a very religious person. But I do feel as if I'm in need of some guidance here.
Rabbi: [stilted] Would you care for a snack of some kind? I have the SnackWells, which are very popular. Although, I think that sometimes with the so called fat free cookies people may overindulge forgetting they may be high in calories
Elaine: No, thank you. I am not very hungry. Anyway, um, this friend of mine, George, got engaged .
Rabbi: How wonderful.
Elaine: Yeah, yeah, well, for some reason, um, I just find myself just overcome with feelings of jealousy and resentment.
Rabbi: Doesn't it give you any joy to see your friend enter into this holiest of unions?
Elaine: No, no, no, it doesn't. No joy. No joy whatsoever. Just the whole think makes me sick.

Rabbi: You know, Elaine, very often we cannot see the forest for the trees.
Elaine: Yeah, I don't know what that means.
Rabbi: Well, for example, say there's a forest, . . .
Elaine: Yeah, see the thing is, Rabbi. It should have been me. You know, I'm smart. I'm attractive.
Rabbi: You know my temple has many single functions.
Elaine: Oh, no, that's okay.
Rabbi: My nephew Alex is someone who is also looking perhaps...
Elaine: I don't think so.
Rabbi: He owns a flower store. Very successful.

Jerry: Hey, Planet 9 From Outer Space is playing tomorrow night. One show only.
Kramer: I've always wanted to see this.
Jerry: You know I was supposed to see this five years ago. I was in a Chinese restaurant with George and Elaine and got all screwed up trying to get a table and I missed it.

Susan Ross: If you don't want to marry me, George, just say so. [crying] Just say so.
George: No, no. Still marry, still marry.
Susan Ross: You don't love me.
George: No, no. Still love. Still love.
Susan Ross: My friends told me that you were too neurotic and that I was making a mistake.
George: No, no. No mistake, no mistake. No, no, listen. We're going to get married over Christmas. I... It doesn't make any difference to me. It's fine. Really.
Susan Ross: You sure?
George: Yeah, yeah, sure, Christmas. Snow. Santa. All that stuff.

Jerry: Let me take a guess. She cried and you caved.
George: How did you know that?
Jerry: I live and breathe my friend. I live and breathe.
George: I got to tell you, I felt terrible. I really thought she was going to collapse and kill herself.
Jerry: Yes, it's very difficult. Few men have the constitution for it. That's why breakups take two or three tries. You gotta build up your immunity.
George: You see those tears streaming down you don't know what to do. It was like she was on fire and I was trying to put her out.