Jerry: Where are they?
George: Maybe he didn't show up.
Jerry: What, you don't want to do this?
George: I don't think there's ever been an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up.

Alton Benes: Where's Elaine?
Jerry: Well, we thought she was meeting you earlier. She's usually pretty punctual. [Alton is silent] .Don't you find that, George?
George: Yeah, yeah. She's punctual. And she's been late sometimes.
Jerry: Yeah, yeah. Sometimes she's on time, and sometimes she's late.
George: I guess today she's late.
Jerry: It appears that way.
George: Yep.
Jerry: Yep.
[Jerry and George look hopefully at the door, waiting for Elaine]

Alton Benes: Looks like rain.
George: I know, I know, that's what they said.
Alton Benes: Who said?
George: The weather guy, Dr. Waldo.
Alton Benes: I don't need anybody to tell me it's gonna rain.
George: No, of course not. I didn't..
Alton Benes: All I have to do is stick my head out the window. [Jerry and George eagerly drink] Which one's suppose to be the funny guy?
George: Oh, he's the comedian.
Jerry: I'm just a regular person.
George: No, no. He's just being modest.
Alton Benes: We had a funny guy with us in Korea. A tail gunner. They blew his brains out all over the Pacific. ... There's nothing funny about that.

George: I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed Fair Game. I thought it was just brilliant.
Alton Benes: Drivel.
George: Maybe some parts.
Alton Benes: What parts?
George: The drivel parts. Oh my gosh, I just realized- I have to make a phone call. I can't believe... Would you... [leaves]

George: Thank you for leaving me alone with him!
Jerry: That was brutal. I can't go back out there.
George: Well, let's just leave.
Jerry: Elaine will kill me.
George: Where is she?
Jerry: She's gotta be here soon.
George: How could she leave us alone with this lunatic? Ten more minutes, and that's it! I'm leaving. I have to tell you, this guy scares me.
Jerry: The waiter was trembling.
George: If she doesn't show up, we can't possibly have dinner with him alone.
Jerry: How are we gonna get out of it?
George: We'll say we're frightened and we have to go home.
Jerry: Yeah, that's good. He'd clunk our heads together like Moe.
George: I don't know. Just start scratching. Tell him you have the crabs. He was in the military. He'll understand that.

Alton Benes: Who'd you call?
George: My uncle is having an operation. I just wanted to see how he was.
Alton Benes: What kind of operation?
George: Bone marrow.

Alton Benes: Yeah, they should've taken care of Castro when they had the chance. Like we did in Guatemala in '53.
Jerry: ...Well, Guatemala.
George: Sure, Guatemala.
Alton Benes: [gets up] All right, you boys get yourselves together. We'll head up to the restaurant. I'll leave a note for Elaine. I'm going to the bathroom.

Alton Benes: How about you? Are you working?
Elaine: Yeah, I'm reading manuscripts for Pendant Publishing. I told you ten times.
Alton Benes: Pendant, those bastards. All right, boys. We'll go to that Pakistani restaurant on 46th Street. You're not afraid of a little spice, are you?
George: [sings] "Master of the house, doling out the charm. Ready with a handshake and an open.."
Alton Benes: Pipe down, chorus boy.

Elaine: Oh, it's snowing. It's beautiful.
Jerry: Snow? Snow, that can't be good for suede, can it?
George: I wouldn't think so.
Jerry: What should I do? [to Alton] We're taking a cab, aren't we?
Alton Benes: Cab? It's only five blocks.
George: [to Jerry] Why don't you just turn it inside out?
Jerry: Inside out! Great.
[Jerry turns his jacket inside out, revealing the pink stripes. As he starts to make his way out of the revolving door, Alton stops him]
Alton Benes: Wait a minute. What the hell do you call this?
Jerry: Oh, I turned my jacket inside out.
Alton Benes: Well, you look like a damn fool!
Jerry: Well, it's a new suede jacket. It might get ruined.
Alton Benes: Well, you're not going to walk down the street with me and my daughter dressed like that. That's for damn sure!
George: It's only a few blocks.

Kramer: Well, are you going out?
Jerry: Yeah.
Kramer: Hey, where's your new jacket? [Jerry points to the jacket] What? Oh, what did you do to it?
Jerry: I was out in the snow last night.
Kramer: Don't you know what that does to suede?
Jerry: I have an idea.