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The Glasses

‘The Glasses’

Season 5, Episode 3 -  Aired September 30, 1993

After George's glasses are stolen, Kramer tells him about a store where he can get a discount. At the store, Elaine is bitten by a dog, and George is convinced he saw Jerry's girlfriend kiss his cousin.

Quote from Kramer

Jerry: Hey, hey, what is this? What's going on here?
Elaine: I'm sorry, Kramer. I'm sorry.
Kramer: No, no, it's all right. I had a friend who had rabies once. [to George, who is eating chips] May I have one of those, madam?
George: Madam? What are you calling me madam for?
Kramer: They're ladies' glasses. [takes the glasses] Now look here, see it's right here: Gloria Vanderbilt Collection.
George: He sold me ladies' glasses!


Quote from Elaine

Elaine: What if Jeffrey's not home. Did you ever think of that?
Jerry: Oh, he'll be home, it's Friday night. That's the big night on the Nature Channel.
Elaine: Let me tell you this. There is no way cousin Jeffrey is dating Amy. He looks like a horse!
Jerry: He does look like a horse.
Elaine: Yeah, he's got a real horse face.

Quote from George

George: Oh boy.
Blind Man: Excuse me, I'm new here, would you mind walking me back to my locker?
George: Oh uh, sure, hang on. [takes the man's hand] Hey, that's the guy.
Blind Man: What guy?
George: The guy that stole my glasses. This time I got 'em!
[George follows the man onto the street, dragging the blind man with him]
George: Would you pick it up a little?
Blind Man: Where the hell are we going?
George: He's getting on a bus. Damn! [to the blind man] Those are nice glasses.
Blind Man: I don't like 'em, they pinch my nose.
George: Is that really?

Quote from George

George: Dwayne, my friend and I would like to exchange frames. Could you put his lenses in my frames and mine in his?
Dwayne: Yeah, we can do that.
George: And I'd like a discount.
Dwayne: Why should I give you a discount?
George: Listen, you're lucking I'm not asking for a refund. You gave me ladies' frames!
Blind Man: What's that about ladies' frames?

Quote from Jerry

Amy: So what are we doing here?
Jerry: Oh, you'll find out.
Amy: I don't know, you're acting very mysteriously.
Jerry: Well, I'm very mysterious by nature. [knocks on the door] A lot of women find that attractive.
Amy: I find it annoying.

Quote from Jerry

Uncle Leo: You know Jeffrey's favorite animal: the leopard.
Amy: Why is that?
Uncle Leo: He likes the spots. Oh uh, here's the tickets.
Jerry: Thank you.
Uncle Leo: Oh uh, he asked me to give you a message. He said that he's very sorry and he hopes you'll forgive him.
Jerry: [to Amy] A-ha! So it's true! You were making out with him!
Amy: What are you talking about? I don't know Jeffrey. Oh so this is why you brought me up here?
Jerry: Oh, very convincing, but it's not gonna work this time.
Uncle Leo: What are you talking about? All he meant was that he was sorry that the seats aren't very good.
Jerry: Oh. Oh. Wanna get some pizza?

Quote from George

Man: I'm trying to track down that lady that was in here the other day, the one that was messing with my dog.
George: Yeah, well, she's trying to track you down.
Man: Well I would love to talk with her. She lives on 81st Street, right?
George: No, that's Jerry.
Man: Really? You wouldn't happen to know what apartment he's in, would you?
George: Yeah, 5A!
Man: Thanks a lot!

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