Jerry Quote #786
Quote from Jerry in The Glasses
Uncle Leo: You know Jeffrey's favorite animal: the leopard.
Amy: Why is that?
Uncle Leo: He likes the spots. Oh uh, here's the tickets.
Jerry: Thank you.
Uncle Leo: Oh uh, he asked me to give you a message. He said that he's very sorry and he hopes you'll forgive him.
Jerry: [to Amy] A-ha! So it's true! You were making out with him!
Amy: What are you talking about? I don't know Jeffrey. Oh so this is why you brought me up here?
Jerry: Oh, very convincing, but it's not gonna work this time.
Uncle Leo: What are you talking about? All he meant was that he was sorry that the seats aren't very good.
Jerry: Oh. Oh. Wanna get some pizza?
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Glasses’ Quotes
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: I've got such a headache. Oh, that's another symptom!
Kramer: Of what?
Jerry: Rabies.
Kramer: Oh, that's fatal. You don't want that!
Elaine: [grabs Kramer] I know I don't want it! I don't need you to tell me what I don't want, you stupid hipster dufus!
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I never get enough sleep. I stay up late at night, cause I'm Night Guy. Night Guy wants to stay up late. "What about getting up after five hours sleep?" "Oh, that's Morning Guy's problem. That's not my problem, I'm Night Guy. I stay up as late as I want." So you get up in the morning, you're exhausted, groggy. Oh, I hate that Night Guy! See, Night Guy always screws Morning Guy. There's nothing Morning Guy can do. The only Morning Guy can do is try and oversleep often enough so that Day Guy looses his job and Night Guy has no money to go out anymore.
Quote from Kramer
Dwayne: Who said anything about a discount?
Kramer: Ooh, how quickly we forget. You owe me buddy.
Dwayne: For what?
Kramer: [pulls out a candy bar] Remember this?
Dwayne: What are you doing?
Kramer: Six months ago you were eating four of those for breakfast and chasing it with a ring ding. And two butter fingers on the train. Sounds familiar?
Dwayne: Put that away!
Kramer: Remember that night I found you at Dinky Donuts? You were all hopped up on cinnamon swirls! They wouldn't serve you anymore! You wouldn't even have any teeth if it wasn't for me taking you over to Joe's fruit stand and stuff a cantaloupe down your throat! So much for gratitude. Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Dwayne: All right, all right, all right! I'll give him the discount, just put that thing away! But this squares us.