Jerry: Hey, Elaine, you have got to buy this new electric toothbrush I just got - the Oro-Dent.
Elaine: [uninterested] Oh, yeah?
Jerry: Oh, it's unbelievable. Every time you use it you feel like you just came from the dentist!
Elaine: Oh, that's dynamite.

George: And now I got to go back out there and pick up this doormat.
Jerry: I thought you didn't want the doormat.
George: I don't. Susan wants to have it out when Sally comes tomorrow.
Jerry: Sally? Wait, wait a minute. She's coming to New York?
George: Yeah. Susan said you'd be excited.
Jerry: Excited? I'm gonna kill her! She knew she was coming here and she made me carry that box?!

Elaine: Who's Sally?
George: Susan's college roommate.
Jerry: It's because of her that bottle got broke that I was going to give to Charles Grodin on his show.
George: So call her up and tell her to bring you another one. She'll be delighted to talk to you.
Jerry: [opens cereal box] I will, don't worry. In fact, I'll have her bring up a whole case of the stuff. It'll be really heavy. Let's see if she likes sitting on a plane with a big box on her lap!
Elaine: That's sounds pretty juvenile.
Jerry: [pulls out the toy] Hey, a dinosaur!

Frank Costanza: His name was Carlo Costanza. We played together everyday until I was four. If I could just look through your photographs, maybe I could recognize him.
Maestro: Unfortunately, those photographs are at home.
Kramer: Well, listen, if you bring them by, maybe we could interest you in a game of pool. Yeah, Frank here, he's got his own billiard room.
Frank Costanza: Yes, It's, uh, it's.. uh, uh.. What do you call it, Kramer?
Kramer: A billiard room.
Frank Costanza: No, not billiard. Not billiards. It was... Come on, already. Come on...
Kramer: What?
Frank Costanza: We call it.. The, uh...
Kramer: [snaps fingers] The place to be!
Frank Costanza: The place to be! Yes, it's the place to be.

George: You see? You see?!
Jerry: Well, it doesn't look exactly like her.
George: Jerry, come on. If my mother keeps shrinking, this is exactly what she's gonna look like in ten years!
Jerry: Why don't you just get rid of it?
George: I tried! I almost threw it down the incinerator, but I couldn't do it. The guilt was overwhelming. Susan's so attached to this thing. [exits]
Jerry: Wait, where are you going? Don't take your dolly and go home.
George: [o.s.] Hi, Elaine.
Elaine: [o.s.] [screams]

Kramer: All right, come on Frank. It's your shot.
Frank Costanza: I can't make anything..
Kramer: Well, that's because you don't know how to follow through correctly.
Frank Costanza: Follow through? What do you mean?
Kramer: Right here, come on, I'll show you. [Kramer stands behind Frank and guides him] Take hold of your stick. All right, bring it back slowly.
[Estelle walks in with a tray of snacks and sees Frank and Kramer close together in their underwear]
Frank Costanza: It's a little unnatural, but I think I'm getting the hang of it.
Estelle Costanza: Oh, my God!

Jerry: That woman is such an idiot! I was gonna do this whole bit on that bottle. And now I got nothing to talk about.
Elaine: Well, have you ever considered writing new material?
Jerry: Well, maybe if I didn't have so many people in my apartment all the time I'd be able to get some work done.
Elaine: Me? Are you talking about me?
Jerry: No. You're never here.

Sally: [on the phone] Hi Jerry, it's Sally!
Jerry: Oh. Is George there?
Sally: No, but he should be home soon.
Jerry: Uh, listen, this is important. Tell him to meet me at the TV studio with a picture of his mother and that doll that looks like her.
Sally: Is this for your comedy routine?
Jerry: Yes.
Sally: Don't worry. I'm on the case.

Elaine: Is George here?
Jerry: Not yet. [points to a man in the make-up chair] The other guy.
Elaine: It's.. .. you! It's really you! Oh, I'm such a huge fan of yours. Would you mind signing this poster for me?
Carreras: My pleasure.
Elaine: Oh, thank you so much. Thank you so much, Mr... Camaro. [he walks away] Mr. Casea? Well, whatever.

Jerry: Hey, look, I got something for you. The Oro-Dent!
Elaine: Oh, thank you. Why- Why does a toothbrush come in such a big box?
Jerry: Well, it's a delicate mechanism. It, you know, needs lots of packaging.
Elaine: How am I supposed to carry this thing? [Jerry starts to remove his pants] What are you doing?
Jerry: Well, I want to sit down.
Elaine: So?
Jerry: It's a trick I just learned from Kramer. It keeps a crease in the pants.