George: Hey, what are you doing tonight?
Jerry: Dating Marla.
George: Oh, the virgin?
Jerry: Yeah.
George: Any, uh, progress, there? What's the latest?
Jerry: Well, I got my troops amassed along the border. I'm just waiting for someone to give me the go-ahead.

Elaine: I want to be in on this, too.
Guys: Oh, no. No, no, no..
Elaine: Why?
Jerry: It's apples and oranges.
Elaine: What? Why? Why?
Jerry: Because you're a woman!
Elaine: So what?
Jerry: It's easier for a woman not to do it than a man.
Elaine: Oh.
Jerry: We have to do it. It's part of our lifestyle. It's like, uh.. shaving.
Elaine: Oh, that is such baloney. I shave my legs.
Kramer: Not everyday.

George: I figured you'd cruise. At least through the Spring.
Jerry: What happened?
Elaine: It was, uh... John-John.
Jerry & George: Oh, John-John.
Jerry: But you made it through the day before.
Elaine: Yeah, but yesterday, he told Joyce, the aerobics teacher, that he wants to meet me outside here at nine o'clock tonight.
Jerry: Why outside here?
Elaine: Because he think I live here. Remember when we shared a cab, and he dropped me off out in front? He's picking me up.
Jerry: All right, Costanza, it's just you and me.
George: And then, [sniffs the money] there were two.
Elaine: Elaine Benes Kennedy Jr.

George: [on the phone] No, ma, I'm not gonna see a psychiatrist. N- I don't care if you do pay for it! No. Discussion over. Yeah, all right, I'll see you later. Yes, of course I'm gonna come by. All right. [hangs up] My mother wants me to see a psychiatrist now. Why? Because she caught me? You know, if everyone who did that had to go see a psychiatrist... [laughs, snorts]
Jerry: Yeah..?
George: Whatever.

Jerry: Hey, let me ask you a question. In these nudist colonies, do they eat naked in the dining room?
George: I would imagine it's all naked.
Jerry: What about the chamber maids? Are they naked, too?
George: They're naked, the gardeners naked, the bellhops... One big nude-a-rama.

George: Well, I'll tell you this, though - I am never doing.. that , again.
Elaine: What, you mean, in your mother's house, or all together?
George: All together.
Elaine: Oh, gimme a break..
Jerry: Oh, yeah, right.
Kramer: Oh, like you're gonna stop?
George: You don't think I can?
Jerry: No chance.
George: You think you could?
Jerry: Well, I know I could hold out longer than you.

George: Care to make it interesting?
Jerry: Sure, how much?
George: A hundred dollars.
Jerry: You're on.
Kramer: Wait a second, wait a second. Count me in on this.
Jerry: You?
Kramer: Yeah.
Jerry: You'll be out before we get the check.

Jerry: Okay, one-fifty.
George: All right, now, how are we gonna monitor this thing?
Jerry: Well, obviously, we all know each other very well. I'm sure that we'll all feel comfortable within the confines of the honor system.
Kramer: All right.
[Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer make a "pinkie-promise"]

Elaine: Well, where's my money? Who caved?
Jerry: Not me.
George: Not me.
Elaine: What are you looking at?
Jerry: There's a naked woman across the street.
Elaine: [chuckles] This is gonna be the easiest money I've ever made in my life.

Elaine: So, my fried, Joyce, is teaching an aerobics class. I'm gonna go tonight.
Jerry: [distracted] Yeah... The... The waitress should've taken it back.
Elaine: So then, I got a call this morning. You know, I was, uh, chosen to go on the space shuttle. We're going to Mars.
Jerry: Uh-huh.
George: Have a good time.