Jerry: Hey, how did you do on that IQ test?
George: I didn't take it yet.
Elaine: What IQ test?
George: What's casus belli?
Jerry: Oh, it's nothing...
George: Is it about me?
Jerry: Why must you always be the focal point of attention? Why can't you just be? Why can't you live?
Elaine: It's just a Latin phrase, George. It does not mean anything.

Jerry: You know, I don't even know my IQ.
Elaine: Mine's 145.
George: 145!
Jerry: Get out of here!
Elaine: You get out of here!
Jerry: You get out of here!
George: Maybe you should take the test for me.

Jerry: Well, that would be something. Cheating on a IQ test. Hey, remember in college when you passed Lettick the test out the window? You became a legend after that.
George: Yeah. Yeah, I really had some guts back then. Why don't we do that again?
Elaine: What?
George: You could take the IQ test for me. I could pass it to you out the window. We could do it, she lives on the first floor.
Elaine: Are you serious?
George: Why not?
Elaine: Where would I take the test?
George: I don't know. She lives right around the corner. Take it here or go to the coffee shop.
Elaine: No, that would be too noisy.
Jerry: Take it to Dream Cafe, you won't hear a peep.

Elaine: What's been going on in there? I've been standing here for 20 minutes.
George: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, here's the test. Thanks again for doing this.
Elaine: All right, what time do you want me back here.
George: Eh, twenty to three.
Elaine: Ok.
George: Thanks again.
Elaine: All right.
George: And don't settle for 145, you can do better, you're a genius.

Elaine: Look, Kramer, I have to take this test, okay. I don't have a long of time.
Kramer: What test?
Elaine: An IQ test.
Kramer: Why do you have to take an IQ test?
Elaine: It's for George.
Kramer: George?
Elaine: Yeah, can I... Can I explain it to you later?
Kramer: Yeah, but why are you taking an IQ test for George?
Elaine: Would you please..?!
Kramer: What, is it for a job or something?
Elaine: Later!
Kramer: You're positive it's statute?
Elaine: Yes, yes!

[George is laying on the bed reading the New Yorker when Monica tries to enter the room]
Monica: George?
George: Yeah?
Monica: The door is locked.
George: Oh, it's locked?
Monica: I need to get something.
George: Monica, I'm really focused here, this stuff's a killer.
Monica: George!
George: Wish I could.

Elaine: It was an accident.
George: What did you go on a picnic?
Elaine: Babu Bhatt did it.
George: Babu Bhatt? How I'm going to explain this?

Kramer: Hey, do me a favor. If some guy comes in looking for me, tell him you don't know where I am.
Jerry: Of course, I always do.
Kramer: No. No, it's that guy. He's really been bugging me about the jacket.
Elaine: Just give it back to him.
Kramer: Oh, he'll have to kill me. [exits]

Jerry: [sees George out on the street] Hey, Georgie!
George: [o.s.] Coming up.
Jerry: How did you do on the IQ test?!
George: [o.s.] 85!
Jerry: What?!
George: [o.s.] 85, Jerry! 85 IQ!
Elaine: 85?
Jerry: Well, well, well...
Elaine: He's coming up?
Jerry: Well, I'm no genius, but according to my calculations he should be here in a few seconds.
Elaine: Yeah, but an 85? Jerry, that's ridiculous.
Jerry: Well, maybe the test was gender biased. You know, a lot of questions about hunting and testicles...

George: Oh, hello professor.
Elaine: George, I cannot believe...
George: Please!
Elaine: No, there has got be a mistake.
George: You should've seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.