George Quote #574
Quote from George in The Implant
Clerk: All right sir, now all I need is a death certificate and you'll be on your way.
George: Well, you see, what happened was, um... The doctor... The very same doctor that was attending to my late aunt suffered an untimely stroke, and lost the use of his right hand, so... Obviously, I was unable to get the death certificate. However, I do have this. [takes out a Polaroid]
Clerk: What's this?
George: That's a picture of me next to the coffin.
Clerk: Nice try.
George: Not even close, huh?
Clerk: No.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Implant’ Quotes
Quote from George
Timmy: Did you just double-dip that chip?
George: Excuse me?
Timmy: You double-dipped the chip!
George: "Double-dipped"? What are you talking about?
Timmy: You dipped the chip. You took a bite. And you dipped again.
George: So...?
Timmy: That's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip! From now on, when you take a chip, just take one dip and end it!
George: Well, I'm sorry, Timmy... but I don't dip that way. [takes a chip]
Timmy: Oh, you don't, huh?
George: No. [dips the chip] You dip the way you want to dip... [bites the chip] I'll dip the way I want to dip. [dips again]
Quote from Kramer
Jerry: Oh, how can you be so sure?
Kramer: Jerry, are you blind? He's a writer. He said his name was Sal Bass. Bass. Instead of salmon, he went with bass. He just substituted one fish for another.
Jerry: Look, you idiot. First of all, it's "Salman", not "Salmon".
Kramer: Jerry! Jerry, you're missing the big picture.
Quote from Jerry
Elaine: You've dated women with nose jobs, what's the difference?
Jerry: You don't touch the nose. You don't aspire to reach the nose. You don't unhook anything to get to a nose, and no man has ever tried to look up a woman's nostril.
Elaine: You've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?
Jerry: Well, I take it very seriously.
Elaine: You know, sometimes when I think you're the shallowest man I've ever met, you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool.