Kramer Quote #266
Quote from Kramer in The Implant
George: [to clerk] You see, my friend here, his aunt passed away last night.
Clerk: [to Kramer] Oh, I'm very sorry.
Kramer: [sobbing] I saw her last week, she looked healthy and peaceful, but... she knew.
Clerk: You poor thing!
Kramer: I... [breaks into tears]
George: You don't think you can buy the ticket yourself...? No, there, there... You sit, and I'll purchase the ticket for you.
Clerk: You're a good friend.
George: I understand you offer a 50%-off 'bereavement' fare...?
Clerk: Yes, all you have to do is pay the full fare now, then return to any one of our counters with a copy of the death certificate, and we'll refund half your fare.
George: The death certificate?
Clerk: Yes. Yes, we do need documentation or you know, people could take advantage.
George: What kind of a sick person would do a thing like that?
Clerk: I know! But it happens.
George: You want my friend to ask his uncle, a man who just lost his wife of 44 years, for a death certificate so that he can save a few bucks on a flight?
Clerk: That would be $387 round-trip.
Kramer: [normal] All right, so you'll need my frequent flyer number, huh?
Clerk: Yes.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Implant’ Quotes
Quote from George
Timmy: Did you just double-dip that chip?
George: Excuse me?
Timmy: You double-dipped the chip!
George: "Double-dipped"? What are you talking about?
Timmy: You dipped the chip. You took a bite. And you dipped again.
George: So...?
Timmy: That's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip! From now on, when you take a chip, just take one dip and end it!
George: Well, I'm sorry, Timmy... but I don't dip that way. [takes a chip]
Timmy: Oh, you don't, huh?
George: No. [dips the chip] You dip the way you want to dip... [bites the chip] I'll dip the way I want to dip. [dips again]
Quote from Kramer
Jerry: Oh, how can you be so sure?
Kramer: Jerry, are you blind? He's a writer. He said his name was Sal Bass. Bass. Instead of salmon, he went with bass. He just substituted one fish for another.
Jerry: Look, you idiot. First of all, it's "Salman", not "Salmon".
Kramer: Jerry! Jerry, you're missing the big picture.
Quote from Jerry
Elaine: You've dated women with nose jobs, what's the difference?
Jerry: You don't touch the nose. You don't aspire to reach the nose. You don't unhook anything to get to a nose, and no man has ever tried to look up a woman's nostril.
Elaine: You've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?
Jerry: Well, I take it very seriously.
Elaine: You know, sometimes when I think you're the shallowest man I've ever met, you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool.