Elaine Quote #887

Quote from Elaine in The Apology

Jerry: Oh, great, Elaine. What is wrong with my body?
Elaine: Chicken-wing shoulder blades.
Jerry: That's it?
Elaine: No, but that's one problem. Why?
Jerry: Well, I was walking around naked in front of Melissa the other day...
Elaine: Whoa. Walking around naked? That is not a good look for a man.
George: Why not? It's a good look for a woman.
Elaine: Well, female body is a work of art. The male body is utilitarian. It's for getting around. It's like a Jeep.
Jerry: So you don't think it's attractive?
Elaine: It's hideous. The hair, the lumpiness. It's simian.
George: Well, some women like it.
Elaine: Sickies.


 ‘The Apology’ Quotes

Quote from Kramer

Jerry: [answers phone] Hello?
Kramer: Jerry, guess where I'm calling from.
Jerry: World War I plane?
Kramer: No, I'm in my shower. I'm trying to get out of the shower sooner. And then I asked myself why. I mean, this is where I wanna be. I got a waterproof phone, I shaved, I brushed my teeth, and I ordered a pair of chinos from J. Crew.
Jerry: When are you getting out?
Kramer: I'm not. I'll see you later, buddy.

Quote from George

Jason Hanky: Hi, I'm Jason. I'm a Rage-aholic.
All: Hi, Jason.
Jason Hanky: This is my first meeting.
George: Step-skipper. That man is a step-skipper. He skips Step 9.
Jason Hanky: Please, Step 9.
George: That's right. He never apologized to me for saying that I would stretch out the neck hole on his sweater. [all laugh] It wasn't funny.
Jason Hanky: It was a very nice sweater. Take a look at his neck, not to mention the melon sitting on top of it. I don't know if I'd trust him with a V-neck.
George: He's bebopping and scatting, and I'm losing it.

Quote from George

George: Oh, hello, Hanky, others.
Jason Hanky: George.
George: You know, Jason, I couldn't help notice: I didn't get my apology.
Jason Hanky: Apology? For what?
George: A draughty apartment. A sweaterless friend. A ball-game-giveaway MetLife Windbreaker.
Jason Hanky: George, come on. Not that neck-hole thing.
George: Yes, the neck-hole thing. And I would appreciate it if you'd say you're sorry.
Jason Hanky: No way. You would have completely stretched it out.
George: You're an alcoholic! You have to apologize. Step 9. Step 9.
Jason Hanky: All right, George, all right. I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry. I'm so sorry that I didn't want your rather bulbous head struggling to find its way through the normal-size neck hole of my finely knit sweater.