Kramer Quote #982
Quote from Kramer in The Merv Griffin Show
Jerry: I just think if you borrow my blender, return it.
Kramer: Come on, we're like Cain and Abel.
Jerry: Yeah, you know, Cain slew Abel.
Kramer: No, he didn't. They were in business together. Dry wall or something.
Jerry: Oh, no.
Kramer: All right, then what was it?
Jerry: Well, I think Abel worked hard all summer harvesting his crops, while Cain just played in the field. Then when winter came, Abel had all the nuts, Cain had no nuts. So he killed him.
Kramer: The way I remember it, Cain, he was a successful doctor, but when he took this special formula, he became Mr. Abel.
Jerry: You broke my blender, didn't you?
Kramer: Yeah. Well, I was trying to make gravel and it just... It just didn't work out.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Merv Griffin Show’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: It's the Merv Griffin set
Jerry: How did you get this in here?
Kramer: Oh, you just bring it in sideways and [clicks tongue] hook it.
Jerry: So where are you gonna sleep?
Kramer: The backstage.
Elaine: Phew! This chair smells like garbage.
Kramer: Oh, well a lot of the stars from the 70's, they were not as hygienic as they appeared on TV. Yeah, you can take Mannix for example.
Jerry: [phone rings] I'm gonna get that.
Kramer: All right. Well, Jerry, we'd love to have you back anytime. Well, Elaine Benes! Well, it's great to have you! Why, is it possible that you are even more beautiful than the last time I saw you?
Quote from J. Peterman
J. Peterman: That noise. That's the noise.
Elaine: What?
J. Peterman: That infernal rattling sound that has plagued me these past two days, and I could not find the source. In my office, in the hallway. Even in the men's room. Shame on you, Elaine!
Elaine: No, no, Mr. Peterman that wasn't me!
J. Peterman: That reminds me of the Haitian Voodoo rattle torture! You haven't gone over to their side have you?
Elaine: No, Mr. Peterman.
J. Peterman: Because, if I hear one more rattle - just one - you're out on your can. And if you are undead, I'll find out about that too.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Oh, Elaine Benes. Well, this is quite a thrill, yes. Come on sit down. Yes.
Elaine: Well, I'll tell you, this sidler guy is really chapping my hide.
Kramer: Excuse me. Yeah, we're talking this way.
Elaine: Well, he's getting credit for work I did. He's gonna sidle me right out of a job.
Kramer: Now, for those of us who don't know, uh, sidling is what?
Elaine: Kramer, what is wrong with you?
Kramer: What do you mean?
Elaine: Well, for starters, you're looking at note cards.