Elliot: God, it's so beautiful here.
J.D.: Look, Elliot. I don't know if it's possible for me to put how I feel about you into words. But I guess I'll give it a shot. I had never really believed I'd find somebody that I'd love as much as you. I love you more than anything in the whole world. I love you- I love you more than Turk.
Elliot: Oh, my God.
J.D.: I know. That's even hard for me to say but it's true. I had to wrestle him to the ground to get this, but it’s more important for you to have it. Look at me. You're my dream girl.

J.D.: What's up, Blaquaman?
Turk: I think I just saw a mermaid.
J.D.: Maybe you just spooked it. Oh, cute looking eel.
Turk: No, I'm naked.
J.D.: Alright, that's you.
Turk: I was supposed to meet Carla out here for a little "surf and Turk". Took off my swim trunks. These bad boys just floated away.
J.D.: Elliot's mad at me because I didn't say "I love you" right. You know what? That eel is looking at me funny, I'm gonna switch over here.
Turk: Yeah, he's got a mind of his own.

Janitor: If I'm gonna have a ceremony, I just need a little help. Go sunscreen up again and call an emergency meeting of the Brain Trust. Island style. Where's Todd?
Ted: Last time I saw him, he was stuffing seaweed into his bathing suit.
Janitor: Sure. Where's Doug?
Ted: Oh, no! I forgot to give him his invite.
[meanwhile, back at the hospital:]
Doug: He's getting married and he didn't invite any of us? Oh come on! And carrying around your invitation is just stupid! You look stupid!