J.D. Quote #1371

Quote from J.D. in My Therapeutic Month

J.D.: Excuse me, Anne? Hey, uh, my life really hasn't been in the best place lately. I recently broke up with my girlfriend who I impregnated on the first date. Don't worry! She miscarried. And I haven't even begun to think about asking anyone else out, mostly because I'm concerned that the stress that love-making will put on my body, might cause me to pass out much like I do when I defecate. I also live in a tent and just got a DUI. I know that as physical therapist you can appreciate someone who's trying to get their life back on track, would you please let me take you to dinner? And show you that I'm really just a nice guy who's fallen on some hard times.
Ann Chase: No.
J.D.: Just just no? Do you... Do you wanna elaborate on the "no"?
Ann Chase: No.

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 ‘My Therapeutic Month’ Quotes

Quote from Dr. Cox

Dr. Cox: It really is just super that you're here with us as a reminder that surgeons really are simply ignorant scalpel jocks. Hell, after surgery, if there's the slightest medical issue you just turf the patient right down to us, the real doctors, so we can pick up your slack. You cut and run, if you will. That's right, it's not just a phrase used by political pundits who wear bow ties. It is also the number one reason that all of you should pray to God, or, in your case, Rex, Moko the Samoan Bird King, that you never have to be treated by these flesh hungry butchers. Jenny, take his glasses as a trophy.

Quote from Nurse Roberts

Carla: Look, the point is, it's an adjustment. Get ready for some arguing.
Elliot: Not us. He doesn't even mind sleeping in separate rooms. Uh, living with a guy before marriage makes me feel whorey.
Nurse Roberts: You can live in separate states, but if you're doing the nasty before you get married, your ass is gonna burn.

Quote from Elliot

Elliot: Do you know how lucky you are to have a husband? I mean, I've got a brand new home, I am totally ready to start my life, but I just don't know if Keith is marriage material. My mom thinks I should test his love by saying I'm knocked up. If he doesn't propose on the spot, I just demand that he gives me $600 for the abortion, dump him, and ease my sadness with a brand-new pair of Jimmy Choos. That's how she got her red shoe collection in college.